Cheating in marriages was, hitherto, largely known to be a thing for men. Per Ghanaian customs, it is frowned upon for women to have multiple partners.
But it looks like the trend is changing and married women are cheating as equally as their male counterparts, if not more.
According to family counsellor, Dr Larry Boateng, "cheating wives are very common in Ghana now" and for over 65% of those cheating, it is because their husbands are not satisfying them sexually.
Dr Boateng's assertion may be right but it looks like there are many more other reasons than sexual satisfaction.
YEN.com.gh brings you confessions from cheating Ghanaian wives as compiled and posted by David Papa Bondzie-Mbir.
“My mother raised me and my sisters as LADIES. She did her very best to train us up well. I know a lot more women were brought up well too, however, women are just as bad as men in this cheating game, except - women get away with it more because we are more emotional, charismatic, and play victim more. In all though, men and women are the same. You can't give a guy any less respect in this aspect than a woman. I am cheating on my husband because I am no longer in love with him. I used to love him, but the love died, someway, somehow, along the journey. We’ve been married for 12 years, and I’ve been seeing this other man (who just happens to be the true love of my life) for Nine (9) years now. We are both married with kids.”
“I am addicted to fine, strong, men. If I see a man and he is fine, and looks strong, I begin to lust after him. I am blessed with a good paying job, so I very often pay less attention to that individual’s financial status. My educational background and working experiences have opened more opportunities to me, created more hunger to want and have everything, and has also made me less fearful, less careful. You just have to look fine and strong, and I will figure out a way to employ you for something worth paying for – for a brief moment. My husband travels a lot to do businesses, so I am always all by myself. We’ve been married for Seven (7) years.”
“I love my husband to death, however, if I am cheating on him today, it’s basically because I have an excuse: I was young (24 years) when he married me. I hadn’t had my fair share of fun. I was, and still am an idiot, even though I know how to act all innocent and ‘good’ in his eyes. It was my plan to quit this habit of cheating when I turned 30. I am 31 years this year, and I have fallen in love with the one I am cheating with. He and I have been seeing each other for the past Seven (7) years, and he’s one of my husband’s closest friends. He’s married. I really wish I could end this affair, however, my heart is already in it, full-time. And, he doesn’t try so hard to please me sexually. He’s just better than my husband in ALL angles. Dave, I orgasm, just at the mere sight of him. I think I am partly in love with my husband because he provides the security (financially) and comfort that I need as a woman (just ask any young woman married to a mature rich man). I spend almost half of it on my boyfriend though.”
“As a child, I heard on countless occasions, how my parents argued and ‘fought’ in the bedroom, because my dad was cheating on my mother. I saw how unhappy Mum always was, and how fast she aged and looked wrinkly even in her late 30s. While she worried daily and felt miserable, dad always looked good, and happy, and unconcerned, and handsome, and young, even as they both aged. There was a time someone mistook my mother for my daddy’s older sister, because according to that person, there was no way my dad could have been married to that ‘old’ lady; meanwhile, in actual sense, my father was about 10 years older than my Mum.
Dave that was the ‘turning point’ for me. I have been ‘living’ since – since. I am still in this marriage because I wanted kids. I have kids now. Their father takes very good care of their every need, and mine too. I am just being careful so I am not caught one of these days. An affair may not be a good thing, however, it has made me look young, and my husband is pleased with my fresh looks. In his head, I am looking good for him. Sex is awesome in my matrimonial home, thanks to the outside experience. What he doesn’t know wouldn’t hurt him in any way.”
“Mine begun after my first pregnancy. The gynecologist who TOUCHED me, during my pregnancy, touched a nerve in me that ‘did’ me something; something I had never felt with my husband before, ORGASM! The doctor realized I loved the way he had touched me. There was a nurse in his consulting room, but she did not see what was going on. A week to my due date, my husband had traveled to work outside Accra, and I needed to be touched, to feel that feeling I felt in the consulting room. I had the doctor’s mobile number, so he came over to check on me. He made passionate love to me, in my husband’s house, every time he closed from work, till I gave birth. I will be Three (3) years in marriage this year.”
“I have been in a long term sexual affair with one man for over 15 years. I don’t love him, but I love the sex. He gives me the greatest sex that I can possibly imagine. I have been married for Six (6) years. And yes, I love my husband very much.”
“I am married to a preacher. I love him, but he’s hardly home. Preaching assignments here and there. The little time we get to be together too is always ruined by visitors and phone calls from Church members and their ’wahala’. Dave, I can’t even compete for his attention, let alone, time. That’s why I am having an affair with my Ex-boyfriend. At least, he sees me.”
"My husband lost his job and was home for a long while. I watched him go for one unsuccessful job interview after the other. I watched him depressed and almost giving up hope. I knew of someone who could help him start all over again. That ‘someone’ is actually the father of a former school mate. That ‘someone’ is the person I am sleeping with, aside my husband. He gave my husband an opportunity to work again. My husband only believes he has the job because he is qualified for it. We managed to make everything look formal: as in, how he heard of the vacancy, the formal processes to application, etc. He has no idea about his boss and I. I am in love with both men, Dave. I don’t know how possible that can be, but it’s happening to me right now. And they both love me too.”
“I’ve been married for 19 years. Been cheating for 15 years, with the same man. I believe he is my soul mate. We argue, we fight, we disagree, we makeup with make-up sex, we make time for ourselves. Though he is also married with kids, we have managed to not let our actions affect our marriages in any way. We have bought our own little Two (2) bedroom house in a gated community, where we meet every now and then, to keep warmth. We’ve agreed not to engage in any extra affairs: so we just stick to each other and our significant others at home.”
“I am Two (2) months old in my marriage, and I am already in an emotional affair with someone else. My husband is a good guy and all, but Dave, I am not that much into him anymore. I thought I did, that’s why I agreed to marry him. We had known each other for a few years – so I am a little bit surprised as to why I feel we are not even that connected intimately. We have very good sex and we do communicate so well. He loves me so dearly, but… I feel he’s the only one enjoying this marriage. I have practically fallen out of love with him.
The day I will physically cheat on him, I would be getting out of this marriage. And it’s going to be in April, 2018. My true love is coming to Ghana, to take me away. I have already secured a Visa to return with him. I have no plans of divorcing my husband. Neither do I plan to tell him about my true feelings. He would return from work one day in April, and find all my belongings at home alright… but I would be gone.”
“For me, it’s a ‘tit’ for ‘tat’: You do me, I do you, simplisita! And I’m ‘doing’ him with so much pleasure and joy. Who cares what he thinks?”
“If he hadn’t abused and disrespected me, I probably wouldn’t have fallen into a different hand. My husband took me for granted. He walked all over me, reduced me to nothing, and then expected me to remain faithful and endure? STUPID man!”
“Why I cheated on my husband, I still don’t know. It was purely an unfortunate mistake. I was tempted, and I fell for it. I didn’t plan to cheat. There was no reason for me to cheat. I am happily married to a great guy, and father to my baby. All he’s ever done is to love me. He’s never wronged me. I just made a mistake. I have no feelings whatsoever for the other guy. It was just sex.
"Though it was just sex, it was good sex. I loved it. It was different, intense and wild. I guess I still remember it because – if I were to compare and contrast with that of my husband’s, I’d grade the guy 180/100. My husband is 65/100. I don’t intend telling my husband about that mistake. It’s going to be a secret I would have to die with. I am not ending friendship with that guy either. Nobody knows tomorrow, so I’m keeping him in an arm’s reach. Being a mother helped me make my family a priority, thus, my decision to want to do the right thing… so help me God!”
“My husband was transferred to a different region to work. He visits home on weekends and on holidays. That’s the genesis of my affair. Distance caused it. I know he’s probably also warming his bed as I speak. I wouldn’t be bothered if he’s cheating. All I pray he does is to practice safe sex, because that’s what I am doing in his absence. I am currently in love with both men.”
“Hello Dave, I am 34 years old, and have been married for Five (5) years. I did trust my husband a lot but he betrayed that trust by cheating on me about Two (2) years ago. I was angry and hurt and disappointed. He showed remorse, apologized and then, cut things off with the other woman, and again, went ahead to take some other actions to make things right again with us. I did forgive him as I felt it was a mistake, and he was genuinely sorry. The problem is, it’s been very hard for me to forget about it, and I feel the only way to get over this is to cheat too. It’s been two years now, and I still have the urge to cheat too.
"To make matters worse - for a couple of months now he is hardly home and stays out late every night due to work. We are hardly having any sex because he is mostly tired and not interested. Again, the way he is constantly protecting his phone, I’m beginning to think there’s more keeping him out and not only work. The thing is, I am not going to sit down and lose my sanity and peace of mind if I find out he is cheating again so I gave in to one of my numerous admirers. Yes, I love my husband, and I do not want to leave him, and I know he loves me too.
This new guy is divorced and understands it’s only to satisfy my sexual pleasure and inner peace. It has been good and very helpful to my general wellbeing. I am a very happy person now and even my husband has noticed. He talks about how I have become very understanding lately, and even compliments my looks each day. So yes, I am happily cheating and do not regret it. I hope my husband never finds out but if he does I’ll understand what ever actions he decides to take.”
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