‘I cheated on my boyfriend but I love him. What do I do?’ This is one of the very many love dilemmas that most partners tend to find themselves in. Maybe it was because he was too cute, perhaps she was very understanding and comforting, or perhaps you were bored and experimenting. The fact is cheating has dire consequences. Most individuals do not know how to react after they cheat. Do you try to keep it a secret, or do you come clean?
If you made the mistake of cheating, you might now be asking the question, "I cheated on my boyfriend how do I fix it?" Read on to discover what you should do after such a situation. Also, get to learn how to get over guilt and how to deal with a cheating impregnation scandal.
Marriage vows require a partner to have unwavering allegiance and loyalty to their spouse. However, sometimes married people are tempted, and they end up cheating on their better half. In such a scenario, you tend to come across so many online searches on, ‘I cheated on my husband what do I do?’ or ‘I cheated on my boyfriend should I tell him?’ Here are the various things you need to do:
1. Determine what you want
‘I cheated on my partner, do I come clean?’ First and foremost, a partner must ask themselves what they truly need. One ought to ask themselves questions such as ‘Did I cheat because I was unhappy in this relationship?’ ‘Have I developed real feelings for the person I cheated with?’ ‘Was it just a major mistake or a one-night stand?’ In case you are not happy in the marriage, you may decide to tell him and call it quits in your union.
However, if you love your husband and do not want to let him go, you ought to tell him. Most people are always tempted to keep it a secret, especially if they became expectant after an affair. However, there is a saying that there is no secret between two people. So, be cautious because the person you cheated with might have developed real feelings and use this secret as a weapon against your marriage.
2. Identify the real reason why you cheated
There is always a reason behind any cheating scandal. For example, most people who revealed ‘I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex’ determine their main reason for this as attention. They received the attention they wanted from their ex, and one thing led to another. Similarly, most people who revealed ‘I cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend’ said that they found them attractive. Others admitted, ‘I cheated on my girlfriend with her friend’ because she gave me the attention I needed.
The other reasons for cheating could be having an abusive partner, your partner’s infidelity, being body-shamed by your spouse, being addicted to pornography, growing apart from each other, marital problems, financial problems, and many more. Identify the root cause and discuss it with your partner.
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3. Tell your partner the truth
The truth will always set you free, so, be open about your actions. There are several searches online you might encounter that try to escape telling a spouse the truth. These include pursuits like ‘I cheated on my boyfriend with his sister, is this a crime?’ or “I cheated on my boyfriend with a girl. Does he have to know?’
Whether it was a male or female, the fact is he needs to know. Take responsibility for your actions, especially if there is irrefutable proof. Lying to him or her further only adds salt to injury. Be honest and apologize to your guy or girl.
4. Give your partner some time and space
You do not expect a spouse to forgive you and jump right where you guys stopped instantly. In most instances, the husband or wife who has been cheated on tends to ask for some time alone to think of how he or she will deal with the situation.
It is okay, and it does not mean that he wants to break up with you. Sometimes, his emotions may be running high, meaning he needs time to cool down before he can have a sit-down with, trust you, be around you, or open up to you.
5. Be willing to forgive yourself
Do not expect forgiveness from your partner if you have not forgiven yourself. You need first to forgive yourself. ‘I feel awful because I had a dream I cheated on my boyfriend and eventually cheated on him,’ this is one of the most famous sayings that most cheaters tend to use.
If you feel guilty, do not go to seek forgiveness before you forgive yourself for the wrongdoing. Forgiving yourself means you are letting go of the burden that most people tend to carry throughout their lives.
As you also anticipate being forgiven, avoid using the phrases 'get over it' to your partner. It shows that you do not regret your actions or are not considerate of his or her pain. Instead, be available to listen to your partner's concerns and the reason for his deliberate decision about moving forward.
6. Take it one day at a time if you are forgiven
As stated earlier, your relationship will take a toll and tend to lag. Do not blame your husband or boyfriend if he does not want to spend so much time with you or disclose certain information to you. It will take time for him to earn his trust again. Give him time to heal and see past your betrayal.
7. Call it quits in your relationship
Although it hurts, sometimes the best option is to let go. The affair may be a clear indication that your relationship has come to an end, whether you like it or not. In most instances where a relationship comes to an end after an affair, it is primarily because both parties have affairs, they are not happy together, they are sexually withdrawn, and no longer trust each other. Although a relationship can rebound after an affair, it is, however, impossible when both parties are not willing to make it work.
Having an extra-marital affair or cheating on a partner is significant and has dire consequences. After an affair, most people go online with questions such as ‘I cheated on my boyfriend what I should do?’ If you are wondering what you should do next, then know that it entails telling the truth, identifying the reason for your affair, and forgiving yourself for it.
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