Happy family is not a gift from above, it is something you can do and attain in partnership with God. his will is for your marriage to be happy and satisfying. Learn the 5 steps Bible guide and get on a journey to a happier home.
1. It starts with you
A happy person makes others happy, while a miserable people carry misery wherever they go. 3 chapter of Nehemiah book of the Bible describes the process of the Jerusalem wall restoration. Before you build the house, you restore the wall around it. This book can be applied to our lives and souls today.
Before you start building up your family, turn to your heart. Ask God to restore your soul to be able to stand against your enemies. Inner restoration may take time, prayer and deep cleansing in communication with God. But it is worth it and no relationship can be built up without it.
2. It’s not their fault
It’s so easy to blame the other person in everything. But your goal is to detect the true enemy and it’s not them. Ephesians 6:12 says: “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly ” You surely know this verse and it is time to believe it!
It is not them! Yes, people do what they do and they hurt us at times. But the only way to restoring your family lies through defeating the true enemy. Jesus has won the war. It’s your time to take a firm stand and win the battle!
“Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:3-4. Yes, it is another familiar Scripture, but there is no easy way or shortcut to a happy home! We should patiently wait upon the Lord to come and do the work only He can do in human hearts.
We should bear our own weaknesses with patience and those of our spouse or kids, too. Sometimes we think our activities make things perfect, but God thinks it is patience! So, keep calm and be patient, persevere!
Once you learn how to stand the weakness (your own and that of others) and manage to wait on God, you become capable of developing love. People say: fall in love. No, that is not the way it works. We fall in pits, but in love we grow!
“In this [union and communion with Him] love is brought to completion and attains perfection with us, that we may have confidence for the day of judgment [with assurance and boldness to face Him], because as He is, so are we in this world.” 1 John 4:17
Love is not just a feeling, as we see from this Scripture. It is an act, a process which “brings” and “attains” things. Love moves us to actions. Patience stops us from doing wrong things, while love motivates us to doing right things!
There is no family restoration without you doing your part. Loves covers up weakness, the heart sees better than the eyes and allows you to do just the right thing to help your spouse at the right moment. Love awakens love.
That is the only environment suitable for happy relationships. “For you, brethren, were [indeed] called to freedom; only [do not let your] freedom be an incentive to your flesh and an opportunity or excuse [for selfishness], but through love you should serve one another.For the whole Law [concerning human relationships] is complied with in the one precept, You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself.” Galatians 5:13-14
You do not have to love them and they are under no obligation to love you. That is freedom, but if before we had the freedom to hate and quarrel, now we have the freedom to love!
Love your spouse as YOURSELF. You got restored and learned to be patient, accepting and loving to yourself. Now Jesus has set you free to love your spouse, not because you have to, but because you can! Free people allow others to be free, too.
Once your spouse sees a new you, restored to the glory and family of God; once they feel accepted, allowed to make mistakes, once you get patient and do right things loving them actively; once they sense the freedom in life, once God does His work in their hearts… Yes, it seems like a long way to go, but it is worth it. You become the true companion of the Almighty in your own life and in the life of your family members. Then your home becomes the abode of happiness and joy.
“To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion—to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit”!
Yes, your family may look like ash now, but there is future for it. It may burden you, but there is joy ahead. The joy of walking with God Almighty and seeing His deeds. What is impossible for men is possible for GOD!