'I am miserable and dying every day in my marriage'

'I am miserable and dying every day in my marriage'

Marriage is supposed to be a blissful union between two people who are in love with each other. It is supposed to bring joy to both partners and make every day worth living.

But for one woman, her less-than-one-year-old marriage has turned out to be her worst nightmare.

The unnamed woman, who narrated her heartbreaking ordeal in a mail to an Accra-based private radio station, said her misery began right on the night of her wedding.

She said her husband, an elder in their church, told her did he did not immediately want children and that he would want them to start trying for children after two years. According to her, the man said he did not marry her for children.

She said her husband pampered her, made time for her and hardly stayed out after work. He also provided for her and ensured that she did not lack any thing.

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The woman said her husband would often bring her food at a boutique which she owned and help with work there until it was time to go home.

She said she soon found out agonisingly that not all that glittered was gold, because her husband began having anal sex with her on her wedding night.

“This started right on the day of our marriage. He will go on his knees and beg me to grant it. He is not violent with me and will always help nurse my pain after. He will always listen to me, apologise for hurting me but insist that it’s the only way he gets satisfied.“

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She said each time it happened, she found it difficult to sit or do anything, so her husband decided that he would reduce their sexual activity to once a week.

“This has become like a ritual every Saturday morning for the past six months. I will stay in bed all day. He will cook, do all the house chores and nurse my pain and apologise a thousand times for hurting me, but the next Saturday it will happen again.

“I feel like his slave… now I am dying… I have thought about telling my mother but again, I cannot imagine how she will take it or handle it?”

She said she also could not discuss the issue with her pastor because of her husband’s status as a church elder.

“I find the whole act so disgraceful and humiliating I do not know what to do. But for this, he is a wonderful man. But I have had it and need a way out. He treats me right and I know our marriage is the envy of many on the outside, but I am dying inside. I cannot continue like this …I need help,”.

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What advice would you give this women in her trying period?

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