Her son broke the mirror, but her reaction is an example for us

Her son broke the mirror, but her reaction is an example for us

A little son of Kathleen Fleming broke a huge mirror.  Her reaction is an example for many parents.

Her son broke the mirror, but her reaction is an example for us

"This is how my hall looked like last Wednesday.

Broken glass. Sharp chips.

This was my hall.

My son was the one who did this.

Sometimes, not often though, things break, and there’s no way to repair them. And it takes your breath away. Not because you’re happy.

It took my breath away, when my son bounced into the bathroom, angry, enraged, pissed with himself for reasons known only to him. And when he decided to smash the door in the bathroom shaking it full-force, the mirror crashed in a million pieces still reflecting that sunny day light.

I kept silent. I took a deep breath. Let the dog out, so that he wouldn’t hurt his feet, and took the cat to the basement for the same reason.

I went outside and felt hot tears on my face. It's amazing how lonely can a single parent feel in such moments. I realized how scared and upset I was. Did this happen to me? Yes. It wasn’t a dream.

So I stood there thinking if it was a manifestation of his evolving character or something else? I heard his cry coming out of the bathroom.

His soul was in pain. My son didn’t expect this to happen either. Hello, Anger, I don't remember inviting you to my house.

Scary.

Frightened.

Ashamed.

Worried.

Terrified.

Deep breath, #MomWarrior. Deep breath. This small, fragile soul needs you right now. It needs the best of you. Your sincere compassion.  Your gentle comfort. A few more deep breaths. You go, Mom.

Go. Go right now. Open the door, walk through the glass, enter the bathroom, look at the face you love most in the world with red and watery eyes on it. Suddenly he says: "Mom, I would never do anything like this. I'm SO sorry. " More tears. Sobbing. Uncertainty on his sweet face.

You go, Mom. Come closer. Go right now. Hug him. Yes, you’re crying as well. So what. Hold him tight. Look how he curls into a ball in your arms. He is happy to feel your love. He can rely on you. Look how small he still is. Look what a fragile soul he has.

I love you.

You're safe.

I am here.

The worst is over.

I’ve got you.

I love you.

You go, Mom. Tell him about Anger. Tell him right now. Anger is a truly powerful feeling. But you have the full right to be angry. Anger burns. But it also purifies. It can destroy. The son nods. He feels it. He met face to face with Anger.

There is a much better way to express strong feelings.

We’ll work on it together…tomorrow.

I'm here to help you.

You're safe.

You're never alone in your anger.

You're never alone in your tears.

And now we're going to clean everything together.

And we cleaned out every last chip. We swept the floor and then vacuumed everything. It was silent work. It was thorough work. It was thoughtful work.

Sometimes things break. Sometimes we break them. It isn't important why they break or how. The only thing that matters is our reaction. Does it “kill” us? Or make us feel guilt and look for punishment?

OR

Does it help us remember what it feels like to love with all your heart? Does it help find true love despite "rightness" and "wrongness"?

Yes. LOVE.

You go, Mom. Go right now. Go to your baby. Teach him that. Show that. Live that. This is LOVE. Go right now."

Source: Kathleen Fleming

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