Men and women get married with entirely different ideas of the married life in their heads. Men dream of long hours of sex or many quick sessions as soon as they want them. Well, both get a bit frustrated and at times they end up stuck in the sexless marriage. Is there a cure for it?
10 best tips to save a sexless marriage
If you do these things, you can fix your relationship, but do not forget that sex is a part of it. It does not exist all by itself. If you have a sexless marriage, you surely have other problems besides sex to deal with.
1. Stop complaining, start requesting
Complaints get you nothing, but quarrels, more frustration, and offenses. So, stop it. There is no need to put all the blame on your partner for not having enough sex in your relationship. Never one is to blame for it, since making love involves the two of you. So, instead of complaining, start making polite and courteous requests.
2. Start the negotiation
First, find out why the other party does not want to have sex with you. There might be things about you to fix and change. So, if you wish to get something, offer what they want in return.
3. Write a letter
If all your conversations about sex end up in a fight, or you are too shy to discuss the issue, write about it. This way you avoid the possibility of fighting and yelling at each other. Ask them to write you back what they think.
4. Eliminate the negativity
Men can easily separate the life and the sex. They can have sex right after the fight or right before it, just about any time. It’s different for women. Sex and life are inseparable for them. So, if you treat your woman meanly or say something negative, and expect to have sex that night, that’s foolish. Try to eliminate all the negativity from your words or actions and see how it works in your sexless marriage.
5. Listen to her instead of fixing her up
Men see no point in sitting around and talking through the problems. They hear it, find a solution and they are done. But women are not built that way. They solve their problems by discussing them. That’s how their brain works. They do not need you to fix everything, but instead they want you to listen and talk it through. Then they sort of unload the problems and find the solutions all on their own.
6. Don’t focus on the flaws
It’s so easy to spot them when you share a life with another person. We do not see such things while dating, but they become rather apparent in marriage. Get refocused and willingly start noticing the good stuff, and miss the negative ones.
7. Do some work together
Sort of sweat with her. You may work in the garden, carry heavy bags from the market or do some exercises together. That’s a great reason to take a shower together afterward. And such activities make you emotionally closer and more open for sex.
8. Date your spouse
Marriage is no good reason to stop romancing or dating the person you love. Arrange for the babysitter to come over and take her out once in a while. Plan a romantic date or a night at the hotel. Give her flowers, court her and bring gifts.
9. Build “we” instead of “I”
Marriage is not about you and your personal needs, but rather about “us”. So, drop that bachelor way of life and invest in that “we” to have more sex.
10. Stop hating your mate
Many a time if the person becomes radically honest, they admit they hate their spouse and purposely do things to annoy them. Stop that at once! No wonder you have a sexless marriage! Become an intentionally loving person instead and the things will change.
As you may see, there are many things to try to have a more fulfilling life and marriage. She or he is not the only ones to blame for the absence of sex. So, start by doing what you can and entice them to pay you back in the same friendly ways.