Her name is Jewel and she is 30. From the early childhood, she had a dream… to become blind!
Her mother noticed the girl wondering in her sleep at night when she was around 5. She felt so comfortable with no sight and really hoped she would lose it one day. The doctors call such a condition BIID or Body Integrity Identity Disorder.
From the early years, people with this disorder believe they are meant to be disabled in some way. Some of them dream to lose their legs or to be paralyzed. Others dream of losing their sight or hearing. This disorder is rare; that is why many people do not know about it and cannot provide adequate treatment to those who need it.
The patients are unable to cope with the disorder on their own, and many of them end up damaging their healthy bodies. This is what happened to Jewel. Being 30 years of age she used drain cleaner to lose sight. She just poured it into her eyes.
Before that, she requested doctors to cut her eyes out or permanently damage her sight in a hospital. Surely, they refused to do that. In her early years, she took the time to learn to read the script for blind people. When she poured the chemical into her eyes, she thought:
“It hurt, let me tell you. My eyes were screaming, and I had some drain cleaner going down my cheek burning my skin. But all I could think was I am going blind, it is going to be okay.”
They took her to the hospital, and the doctors did their best to save her sight. Here is what she says:
“When I woke up the following day I was joyful until I turned onto my back and opened my eyes – I was so enraged when I saw the TV screen.”
One of the eyes was severely damaged, and she demanded doctors to remove it. Her family thought it was an accident, but when they discovered she had poured the drain cleaner in on purpose, they cut off all the communications with her. The only person who stuck around was her ex. He was born blind.
Why is Jewel willing to share her story? To raise the public awareness on BIID. People experience real suffering and try do damage their bodies. They find no support from psychologists or their families. We need to know about it, even if the disease is shocking.