In times like this, EVERY young man in Accra needs to learn how to be a big.
For clarification, no one can learn how to be an ACTUAL Accra big boy. It can't be taught, it's something you either have or you don't.
We all can't be like Rodney Quarcoo or KKD, but YEN can tell you how to pass for an Accra big boy for like a day, or at most a couple of weeks, depending on your intentions. Just follow our guide.
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1. Get A Beard
You need to be part of #beardgang before trying to even pose as an Accra big boy. And it better be well-groomed. You don't have to be handsome or anything, just be good looking.
And a beard is to guys, what makeup is to girls, so start grooming one. If for some reason, you lack natural facial hair, make sure you get some supplements.
2. Get Car Keys
...And show them off at every least opportunity. The true Accra big boys all drive either Benzes or Range Rovers, but we know you're just trying to pass off as an Accra big boy so we really don’t expect you to have a car. Even if you do, it doesn't need to be up to par.
Just make sure you have car keys, the illusion is enough.
3. Get An Accent
Never been to America, UK or even Nigeria before? It doesn't matter, just make sure you have an accent.The fact that you want to be an Accra big boy doesn't mean you have to talk like you need to live IN Accra.
So what better way to convince people that you just came back from the ‘Amurica’, than a couple of YFM radio-host-grade accents?
4. Get An iPhone
Obviously, it must be the latest iPhone, no one is trying to see your Samsung, even if it is an S7.
5. Get A Light Skinned Chick (or more preferably)
Please no one cares whether your dark-skinned bae is the best looking girl around, she must be lightskinned.
6. Get A High Body Count
Talking about chicks, you should have cleared at least 10 different women. You’re a virgin?! Please gerrarahere.
A true Accra big boy could just lie to your friends when you tell them “I hit that” about babes you’re just friends with.
7. Get Haircuts from XMen (or Krews)
It's never about how good the haircut is, it is about whether celebrities pass through that place. To be a big boy in Accra, you need big boy friends. And the best place to get big boy friends in Accra is at these two barbering centers. The 150 cedis haircut will pay off someday.
8. Drop Names
And when you have made those friends, make sure you mention that celebrity you partied with last week, whether the conversation calls for it at all.
9. Wear Sunglasses
Just don't be that guy that wears them into buildings and you’ll be good.
10. Live In Posh Areas
And by posh areas, we don't mean someplace with your parents. If need be squat with a friend long enough to create that illusion that you live in a premium area and you’re golden.
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