People can list all kinds of parameters and conditions to describe a good sex. However, there is the major one: making love should be SAFE! What do you do if your partner is not using condoms? Learn how to talk about it and make your life better and safer.
There are two primary reasons why you may want to do that talk:
- Avoiding undesirable pregnancy;
- Avoiding being infected by STDs.
Both of these are major concerns for all those, who enjoy sex. Plus, this talk is not for the singles only. If you are married, you may also want to discuss the topic with your spouse. In some marriages, people suspect each other in cheating. So, there is nothing wrong with the desire to protect your body and have safer sex.
Or, some people do not want to have any more children, so women or men can bring up the topic to use condoms as childbirth control method.
Tips on talking about the condom use with your partner:
Why is this topic so hard to discuss? Well, many people feel embarrassed to bring it up. These tips will help you to have a healthy and happy relationship.
1. Set your priorities
Feelings are intense, and at times they can move us in the wrong direction or make us neglect the major priorities. Feeling embarrassed can track you off the safety issue. So, set your priorities right. Safety is the number one and feelings are secondary.
Once you get that done, you can cope with the embarrassment and get it under control. HIV and other STDs kill or ruin the lives of millions of people in Africa. It’s a real danger, and you should not be neglecting it. So, take the full responsibility for your own body and its health and do the condom talk!
2. Handle the trust issue
If you are just dating someone and make love to them, do not allow the “trust me” talk to put you off guard. You are not committed to each other for life yet. You do not know so much about the person. So, safety remains your number one priority. Tell them that your trust is growing and it’s not an event, it’s a process. You both have to open up and deserve the trust. So, for now, you stick with condoms in sex!
If that same issue arises in the marriage, you may ask the other person to go and get a medical checkup to make sure having sex with them is safe. Yes, this talk would be hard, but you are under no obligation to put your life at risk if you suspect them in cheating.
3. The comfort issue
Most men would say they dislike using condoms because the sensations are not the same. They may tell you that using condoms puts the off the mood. Well, the only reply you should give to that is this: you get out off mood by getting involved in dangerous sex! Remember, safety is still your number one priority!
4. Pregnancy issue
If you are just dating a guy, it’s only up to you to decide the matter. You are in charge of your body and if you do not want to have kids with that person – that’s up to you. It’s either your way or the highway! Just go ahead and buy some reliable condoms and offer him to use them. If he does not like it, just stop having sex with the guy. After all, you are the one that risks ending up unmarried and brining up his kids! Do you really wish to become a baby mama?
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Things are more complicated in marriage. The two of you have to decide on how many kids to have, but still, you need to bring up the issue and discuss it.
5. The “don’t know how” issue
What if they tell you they are not sure how to use condoms? Well, you can either teach them, if you do know how to do it or offer them to learn it together. You may go to YouTube and find many educational videos there. Have fun with it. Watch a few and then start practicing. It can be an interesting sex game after all.
The major issue here is to pick the reliable brand and the right size and not to pull the thing on too tight. Leave some space at the end to prevent it from breaking up!
As you see, condom talk is hard, but if you wish to have a long and healthy life, it is a must!