How (NOT) to vote
With the high tension rhetoric coming from all sides of the political divide, the Yen Media team thought we'd put a little humor back in the mix. So we thought up seven completely hilarious ways one could mess up a vote.
Although please be advised, you didn't hear this from us.
Read on a have a good laugh... it's on us.
1. On Election Day, go to the polling station without your ID, walk straight past the queue to the polling booth, elbow your way into place (use dropkick if necessary). When asked if you have a voter’s ID, produce driver’s license and feign ignorance.
2. When polling assistant comes to check your particulars, tell assistant that you’ve just been let out of the psychiatric hospital, but that you’re alright…for now.
3. During verification, tell verification officer that you’ve already been verified. When asked by who, say, “God don do um”, also, never mind the verification stamp, “Cause that’s how they get you.”
4. You will be given a presidential ballot paper, be sure to verify if it’s a clean sheet. If it is, write your name somewhere on it, anywhere. Otherwise, how are they supposed to know it’s yours?
5. Vote with your eyes closed, who cares which candidate wins? Nothing really depends on you. Oh wait… Wait, don’t cry, we didn’t know you thought otherwise.
6. Cast your vote. Don’t worry if it’s in the presidential or the parliamentary one, they’ll figure out who you’re voting for themselves… I mean, that’s what they’re there for, right?
7. Proceed to the parliamentary Voting Box and vote… But wait, we did this already, but you can through it again if you must… we won’t.
Leave the Polling Station. If you were able to do everything on the list, without getting arrested or just plain shooed away, then you are a special person and we need to talk to you.