Editor’s Note: Finding what hits your social, single g-spot can be a bit tricky especially for men who live in the populous Accra city. But dating expert Ian Isherwood says these 10 easy tips can get you through the ups and downs of what to do, how to act, where to go and what to expect as a single man. He says it is like sex in the city, but from a man’s point of view.
Accra is an amazing city to be a single man. With almost 4 million inhabitants and hundreds of bars and restaurants to choose from, going out and meeting single women couldn’t be easier.
Let us focus on the weekend: a single man’s playground. You can let your hair down (if you have any) and paint the town red. If you play your cards right, then it is almost like being a butcher in a meat market: the pick is easy, singles are everywhere and people are out to have fun but it depends on what you are looking for.
The first question you need to ask yourself before going out is “What am I looking for?” Are you looking to meet lots of singles, find your future wife or maybe just something casual? Going out with a game plan is essential. Just like productive people in plan their work and life in general, you need to set goals for your dates or nights out, and stay focused on what you want to achieve. Here are 10 tips on how to get a girlfriend in Accra:
For some people it’s natural to smile, say hello and chat with everyone.
Whatever you’re doing and wherever you are, you need to always remember that your main focus should be on happiness, open mindedness and meeting as many people as possible. At the end of the day, the more people you know, the more chances you’ll meet their single friends. Being a happy, friendly person will always win you friends and attract attention from the opposite sex.
For some people it’s natural to smile, say hello and chat with everyone. But for most singles you need to constantly be aware of it and take action. One good tip is to think of a really happy time in your life and keep repeating it through your mind. Your face and body will instantly lighten up and other people will see your joy shine through even when you’re not saying a word. Remember, body language is very important!
Far too many people think they are ready for a committed relationship, when in retrospect they are not.
What are you looking for? Don’t listen to others, you have your own mind and at the end of the day, you know what is best for you. If you can be honest with yourself then you will have an amazing time being single and will attract the right relationships that will bring you happiness. Far too many people think they are ready for a committed relationship, when in retrospect they are not. Taking time to understand what you want will save you years of wasted time, effort and money.
Having a wingman who is far better looking, more charming and better dressed is not ideal.
A wingman is someone who tags along with you to meet a potential girlfriend. Having the right wingman can triple your chances of success on a night out. A good wingman will do whatever necessary for you to achieve your goals. So picking someone you trust, know and connect with, is essential to your success. Having a wingman who is far better looking, more charming and better dressed is not ideal. You need to be on an even playing field.
Make her laugh!
Being a man of interest and adding value to someone else’s night will win you many friends and admirers. Don’t be like everyone else and talk about the same old boring things like work, the weather, politics, blah, blah, blah!!! Everyone should have at least three or four interesting stories that make people laugh and add value to an evening. Remember, people want to have fun and be entertained on a night out. If you can do this then you’ll be the centre of attention.
Short and sweet! This is one of my favourite tips, and if implemented correctly, I guarantee it will work more often than not. Always leave people wanting more. Don’t kill a connection by talking about everything the first time you meet. You want the person to want more from you, to chase you and think about you.
So how do you do that? You make the connection, you strike up an interesting conversation, and then politely excuse yourself by saying something like “I better get back to my friends, but I’d love to continue this chat some time!” and then leave. If the conversation was genuinely interesting then I can guarantee she will be thinking of you, and when you next bump into each other you can swap numbers.
Loners tend to stay single for a long….long time. Don’t be that guy!
When you enter a room you need to smile, stand up tall and say hello to as many people as possible. Some of those who are good at networking and socialites do this. It’s a natural human behaviour and when you do it with confidence you will get a response from everyone.
She will just think you’re creepy and kill any chance.
You walk into a room, you look around with confidence and smile at everyone, and then bang, you see someone you’re super attracted to. You have two options: you continue staring and freak the shit out of her, or you play it cool and set up a game plan. Unless you’re Harry Potter and have a magic wand to wave around, then staring at her and doing nothing about it will not magically make her fall into your lap. She will just think you’re creepy and kill any chance.
If you see someone you like and you make eye contact then you need to either approach her directly, or work the room and then approach her. Never approach from behind, this is odd and will catch her off guard. Always approach from the side or directly, play it cool, smile and make sure you have something interesting to say.
Booze tends to give some men fake confidence.
Too many men use alcohol to mask their insecurities. The odd one or two drinks is okay but most men don’t know their limits, they overdo it and it kills their game. Avoid excessive alcohol and stay focused on what you are looking for. The more you train yourself to stay away from the booze to give you the fake confidence the better you’ll be at naturally reading situations and feeling good about yourself.
Women notice when other women surround a man.
Guys think it takes amazing looks and money to attract women but it is only superficial women who believe in such nonsense. You need to have qualities that money cannot buy, prove to them you are different and fall into all the above categories mentioned.
Women notice when other women surround a man. The hotter the women, the higher your social status and this means the higher your chances of attracting more hot women. It’s that simple! The best way to get confident with women is to have as many women in your life as possible.
An attractive woman knows her value and she needs to know you’re going to add value to her life. You need to show confidence, be social, have a deep passion for what you do, be happy with who you are and be someone she can spend time with without getting bored.
If you only want to sleep with women, then you’ll quickly get a bad reputation and in Accra, word will quickly.
Don’t think short term, think long term! If you only want to sleep with women, then you’ll quickly get a bad reputation and in a city like Accra, word will quickly spread like bush fire and they will start avoiding you. But if you’re genuine and aim to first make real friendships and connections, then you’ll win either way. You’ll either make an amazing friend who will introduce you to all her friends, or you’ll end up having a sexual relation with someone you have a real connection with.
Being a man in Accra is amazing, there are more single women than anywhere else in Ghana and if you take a few minutes, hours, days or even weeks to really figure out what you want, then you’ll have an amazing time. Don’t be a player and only aim to sleep with any woman that comes along. Respect yourself, and respect the people you talk to. Everything in life takes time, patience and practice. The more you talk to women and enjoy being a single man, the more natural you will be and the higher your chances of finding exactly what you want. So get out there, be proud, be happy and stand out from the crowd.
This article expresses the author’s opinion only. The views and opinions expressed here do not necessarily represent those of Yen.com.gh or its editors.
Ian is the founder and CEO of DateMeKenya.com. He is an online dating expert, dating coach and has over 11 years of experience in the industry. Follow Ian and his DateMeKenya.com journey on twitter, Facebook and Instagram @DateMeKenya.