- Khamuye Kolomani Nancy is a mother, a wife, and a pastor
- She has tested positive for HIV, but her kids and husband are negative
- Nancy speaks out about how she found out she was HIV-positive and her journey towards accepting the doctor's verdict
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November 2019. An excited, pregnant Khamuye Kolomani Nancy walks into the prenatal clinic to find out how her baby is growing inside of her.
The 34-year-old mother of five, spoke to YEN.com.gh parenting editor Yvonne Kawira about her journey towards accepting her new status and decision to inspire others.
She said that the doctors did the usual tests at the clinic, including the HIV test, but she did not think much of it.
She waited outside for the results and the subsequent appointment date for her follow-up clinics. Nancy said she noticed that her results had taken too long to be released. So the curious mom went back to the doctors to inquire what was causing the delay.
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"This is when they sat me down and explained that one of the tests had turned positive. It was the HIV test. I was shocked," she told YEN.com.gh in a phone interview.
It was already 7 pm. She did not know where to begin, but a kind doctor gave her their number and asked her to call him for guidance.
Nancy says she was still excited about the little one growing inside of her. But she was still furious at her husband.
The mom, also a pastor, said that she couldn't believe he would do this to her. So she went home and decided to follow up with the doctor on her next move.
The doctors suggested that her husband test for the virus, and after much persuasion, he did.
At this point, he did not know why his wife was insisting that he gets tested. He did not know her status yet.
"Shock on me, the man was HIV negative. Remember i had not told him my status yet. I did not know where to start but I gathered the courage and disclosed my status to him," she recalled.
Nancy says this opened up a whole new side of her husband she had never seen before. He would get angry at her for small things and belittle her. He also requested that she keeps her HIV status between the two of them.
Nancy recalled that every time the couple would have a small misunderstanding, he would bring up the HIV issue and shout from the rooftops about it.
Soon the neighbors too found out about her condition. Then her family. This was when she decided to open up about it.
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Inspiring others through her experience
"I went through a lot in the hands of this man as he struggled to accept my status. He would deny me food even when I was breastfeeding. Things got so bad that we had to go for counseling to salvage our marriage. Thats when he apologised and became a changed man," she said.
Nancy is currently expecting her second child with her current husband though four others are from her previous marriages.
She says she decided to become an activist to encourage others going through similar or worse experiences in their marriages because of their HIV status.
She even has a page called 'Eva.Nancy Khamuye Kolomani_Don't Bury Me Alive' where she shares tips on HIV and parenting and guidance on managing the virus.
"There is still HIV stigma. People are still experiencing this, especially in marriages. I would advise souples to refrain from torturing their partners once they find out that they are HIV positive. If you cannot live with them peacefully, please let them go," she said.
YEN.com.gh has previously reported a lady who learned of her HIV-positive status before her new boyfriend.
Hell broke loose on Irene Waliaula when she visited a Nairobi health facility with her boyfriend to know their HIV status after getting into a new relationship.
Were it not for the intervention of an AIDS counselor who guided and assisted her in starting seeing things positively, Waliaula said she would have taken her own life along the way since the temptation kept on knocking.