30+ hilarious Step Brothers quotes that will make you laugh
Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are known for starring in some of the most iconic and quotable comedy movies ever. They did it not once but twice! The two American actors starred in Step Brothers as their second famous collaboration. It follows Brennan (Ferrell) and Dale (Reilly), grown men forced to live together as brothers after their single parents marry each other. Are you looking for funny Step Brother quotes for a good read?
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Brennan Huff and Dale Doback are forty-year-old immature guys still living with their parents. Brennan with his divorced mother, and Dale with his widowed father. When Robert and Nancy fall in love and get married, the two are forced to live together. Shenanigans ensue as the two stepbrothers who despise each other must get on or risk eviction.
Step Brothers quotes that will make you laugh.
Step Brothers became an instant hit when it was first released and immediately garnered a cult following. These hilarious quotes were instant hits when the show aired. They still crack fans up decades later.
Funny Step Brother quotes by Dale
Due to their epic chemistry on screen, both Brennan and Dale had some pretty awesome one-liners and quotes that had viewers laughing. The rest of the cast were just along for the ride. Here are some of the best Step Brothers quotes to give you a good laugh.
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- You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” “You’re not a doctor. You’re a big, fat, curly-headed f**k!
- This is going to sound weird, but I think you took on the shape of a unicorn for a second.
- I know you are technically married now, but that does not mean they have to live here.
- I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.
- This is going to sound weird, but, for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”
- One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.
- Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
- I’m f*cking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.
- That’s so funny; the last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.
- You should have never let us make bunk beds! It was a terrible idea! There’s blood everywhere! Dad, Nancy, it’s so bad. There’s blood everywhere. Those bunk beds were a terrible idea. Why’d you let us do that? It’s so bad!
- Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta f*ck one, marry one, kill one. Go!
- Dad, I’m doing this because I love you. F*ck you.
- Get your sh*t. We’re going to my room.
- Dad, we’re men, OK? That means a few things. We like to sh*t with the door open. We talk about p*ssy. We go on riverboat trips. We make our beef jerky. That’s what we do. And now that is all wrecked.
Hilarious quotes by Brennan
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When Dale and Brennan meet, their lives change to include each other. From that moment on, they experience their adventures together and become fast friends. Are you looking for Step Brother quotes for Instagram? These quotes will work great as captions.
- Listen, I know that we started as foes. But after that courageous act, you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.
- You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.
- Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse you.
- Your drumset is a wh*re! I tea bagged your drumset!
- Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!
- You keep your liver-spotted hands off, my beautiful mother! She’s a saint!
- What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?
- My mom is being eaten by a dog, and there’s nothing I can do!
- Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.
- Last week, I put liquid paper on a bee… and it died.
- Robert better not get in my face, cause I’ll drop that mother f***er.
- Did we just become best friends? Yep!
- I remember my first beer.
- When you fall asleep, I’m gonna punch you square in the face.
- I really did think he was going to r*pe me at one point. He got this crazy look in his eyes and said, “Let’s get it on.
- You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.
- I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.
The hilarious "did you touch my drumset" argument
One of the most famous exchanges in the movie was about Dale's drum set. After asking Brennan not to touch them, Dale walks in to find Brennan looking sweaty, and the following conversation ensues. These are some of the funny and memorable lines from their exchange.
Dale: Hey man, did you touch my drumset?
Brennan: No.
Dale: It’s just weird, cause it seems like someone definitely touched my drumset.
Brennan: Yeah, that is weird cause I didn’t touch them.
Dale: Hey! [grabs Brennan] Did you touch my drumset?
Brennan: Hey, knock it off!
Dale: I know you touched my drumstick cause the left one has a chip in it.
Brennan: Are you f*cking crazy, man? You sound insane, do you realize that? You should be medicated.
Dale: F*ck you, Brennan! I know you touched my drumset and I wanna hear that dirty little mouth admit it.
Brennan: Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your a*s.
Dale: You swear on your mom’s life that you didn’t touch it then?
Brennan: I don’t have to swear to sh*t!
Dale: That’s ’cause you f*cking touched my drumset! ‘Cause I know Cops doesn’t start ’till 4:00.
Brennan Huff: [Brennan starts to leave]
Dale Doback: Where you going?
Brennan Huff: I’m going upstairs.. ’cause I’m gonna put my n*tsack, on your drumset! Okay?
[Brennan goes upstairs to the drumset]
Dale Doback: If you do that, I’m warning you right now! If you touch my drums, I will stab you, in the neck, with a knife.
What does Dale say when he wakes up in Step Brothers?
When Dale and Brennan move in together, they have to share the same room. One morning, the two wake up on beds next to each other. Dale whispers to ask Brennan whether he is awake. When Brennan whispers that he is, Dale responds:
I just want you to know I hate you. And so does my dad.
What is the quote at the beginning of Step Brothers?
As the opening credits finish rolling, the two soon-to-be brothers meet for the first time. Brennan and Dale look at each other warily, and Dale tentatively offers the first hey. When Brennan responds, Dale replies with this quote:
I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.
Are you looking for hilarious Step Brother quotes? Step Brothers is a 2008 American comedy film starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. The movie has been a source of many hilarious quotes.
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