Questions to ask your partner

Questions to ask your partner

How well do you know your partner? Their likes, dislikes, trauma, regrets, passions, dreams and greatest desires? This question is not meant to undermine your relationship but to simply point out an area for improvement if you hope to get through not just the good times, but also the bad ones. Luckily, there’s a pretty easy way to strengthen your bond. This post has listed some of the best questions you can ask your partner. Read on to know more.

Questions to ask your partner
SOURCE: (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Asking the right question at the right time can help you realize breakthroughs in many important areas of life, from finding out what we want to do with our life to improving personal relationships.Understanding is the gateway to compassion and love, and questions allow us to obtain that necessary level of understanding, helping us learn why our partner behaves or thinks a certain way. Here are deep questions to ask your partner to connect with them on a more intimate level. May they help you realize a deeper understanding, boundless compassion, and open love.

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Questions to ask your partner

  • What is the first thing you noticed about me?
  • What role does physical attraction play in whether or not you pursue a relationship?
  • What type of scent do you like on a woman?
  • Would you say you have a "type"? Do I fit what you thought you were looking for?
  • How do you describe me to other people?
  • How do you think I should describe you to other people?
  • What could I do for you that I don't do now?
  • What is the first thing you think when you see me?
  • What qualities make me special to you?
  • Do you look at other men (women)?
  • If you could have three wishes from me, what would they be?
  • What goals do you have for us?
  • What was the first thing you thought when you met me?
  • How would you respond if my appearance drastically changed, either overnight (new haircut and different hair color, for example) or over time (more/less muscle, weight gain/loss)?
  • What is something you think is true about me, but you've never asked to confirm?
  • How big of a deal are special occasions for you?
  • Have you ever cheated on a partner? If not, have you considered it but changed your mind?
  • How many past partners have you had?
  • Did you debate whether or not to ask me out? Why would you have chosen not to?
  • What were you thinking on our first date?
  • Have you ever been in love before me?
  • Who is your role model in life? Who is your role model in love?
  • What did it feel like when you realized you were in love with me?
  • Do you think we were so destined to be together, that if we hadn't decided to date when we did and lost touch, we'd run into each other again?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: Getty Images
  • What were you looking for when you found me? Were you looking for love at all?
  • Where do you see this relationship headed in the next year? What about the next five years?
  • What is your opinion on marriage and children?
  • Would you stay with me if you found out I was unable to bear children?
  • What are your occupational goals and how could they affect our relationship?
  • Where do you see yourself living when you retire?
  • I want to be a good lover, and I want to be there for you. What can I do for you to be that woman or man?
  • How do you imagine a day in the life of us, married with kids? What about a week in the life?
  • What are your thoughts on having our elderly parents live with us if they can't live on their own one day?
  • How do you plan to save for retirement? What are your goals?
  • What can I do to show you how much I love you?
  • Do you believe in soul mates? What about love at first sight?
  • Have you ever been hurt in the past and questioned the possibility of love?
  • When did you realize you were in love with me?
  • Do you see our love lasting? Do you ever have any doubts?
  • If you had to choose, would you rather receive a gift or have someone do something nice or helpful for you?
  • Do you like sentimental gifts or do you always want a gift to have a practical purpose and be something you need?
  • How do you think you best express love?
  • What types of compliments do you like to hear?
  • Is our relationship physical enough for you? What would make it better in your eyes?
  • How and where do you like to be touched?
  • Do you have any fantasies you would like fulfilled?
  • What are your thoughts on toys?
  • Is there anything we haven't tried that you'd like to?
  • Ideally (and a bit realistically, too), how often would you like for us to be intimate?
  • What are some things I can do outside of the bedroom to keep the feelings of intimacy going all day?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: UGC
  • What's one type of household chore you're unwilling, or at least very resistant, to do?
  • If we were in a group at a party and told a horrible joke that no one else laughed at, what would you do?
  • Who's your hero?
  • What's your favorite book?
  • What's your favorite magazine?
  • How much time do you spend on social networking in a week?
  • Will you tell me if I have lipstick on my teeth or if my hair is standing straight up?
  • If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
  • Are you and your ex still friends?
  • How many sexual partners have you had?
  • Have you put yourself at risk for an STD by skipping protection?
  • Have you been tested for STDs/HIV?
  • Would you be willing to go in for testing again before we get more involved?
  • How would you handle it if you thought another guy was hitting on me?
  • How do you cope with stress?
  • Do you have any bad habits I should know about?
  • What's the worst thing you've ever done?
  • Have you ever broken the law?
  • How would you handle it if you lost your job?
  • How would you handle it if I lost my job, and we were living together and sharing expenses?
  • Are you able to keep your anger under control?
  • Do you like to travel or would you rather stay home?
  • How do you handle disagreements?
  • What's the worst breakup you've ever experienced? Why was it so bad?
  • What are your thoughts on marriage?
  • What are your thoughts on divorce?
  • What do you consider cheating, besides the obvious?
  • Are you comfortable talking about where our relationship is going?
  • If I were offered a promotion and had to move away, would you move with me?
  • Where do you see us in five years?
  • If a girl asked for your number, would you give it to her, just in case we break up?
  • If one of my friends flirted with you, would you tell me?
  • If one of your friends or family members told you to break up with me because he/she didn't like me, would you?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: UGC
  • How do you feel about my family and/or friends?
  • How would you deal with a disagreement with one of my family members or friends?

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Questions to ask your partner in a relationship

  • Do you want to live together?
  • When do you think you will be ready to move in together?
  • How will we handle paying the bills?
  • If we were to break up, who would move out?
  • How long do you think we will live together before getting married?
  • How will we make sure the chores around the house are divided fairly?
  • Are you a neat freak, or do you tend to leave socks and other items lying around everywhere?
  • Do you plan to adopt or purchase a pet in the near future?
  • Would you ever consider having additional roommates to cut costs if we had a place with enough space?
  • How will we make sure we each get to spend time alone when we share the same place?
  • If I have to work really late, will you have a problem with cooking or picking up some dinner for both of us?
  • Do you see us getting married in the near future?
  • Do you want kids? How many?
  • Where do you want to live in the long term? City? Mountains? Country?
  • What are your retirement plans?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: Getty Images
  • What is your philosophy on money within a marriage? Is what's yours mine and vice versa, or will you prefer separate accounts and a roommate situation with bill paying?
  • How do you feel about taking in family members during a hard time? Elderly parents?
  • What's your take on getting the housework done if both partners work outside the home?
  • What are your thoughts on how to discipline children?
  • What kind of dad do you want to be?
  • How important do you think date nights are when you're married and have children?
  • Are you open to the idea of marriage counseling?
  • How much time do you expect us each to be able to hang out with our friends once we've had children?
  • Would you be agreeable to staying home with the kids if my career was about to take off or if I made enough at my job to support that arrangement?
  • How will we spend our holidays?
  • Who will be responsible for screening babysitters or a nanny?
  • Are you a spender or a saver?
  • If our spending/saving goals differ, how will we compromise?
  • Do you want a small wedding, a large one, a visit to the courthouse, an elopement, or do you have no opinion at all?
  • What's your opinion on credit cards?
  • How much debt do you have right now?
  • What are your plans for getting out of debt or staying out of it?
  • What would you say if I told you I have a large amount of debt?
  • Will you support my decision if I want to go back to school one day?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: Getty Images
  • How would you handle it if we found out our child had a terrible illness or disease?
  • Do you think that prenatal tests for certain birth defects or disorders should be done? How would you react to bad news?
  • What do you think each person's role is in a marriage?
  • Would you be willing to take on two jobs temporarily if that's what it took to make ends meet?
  • Are you satisfied emotionally and sexually in the relationship?
  • What is your stance on divorce?
  • If I got really sick with a long-term illness, would you stick around and take care of me?
  • If I have a disagreement with one of your family members or friends, will you stand up for me?

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Questions to ask your partner in a new relationship

  • Where are you originally from? Where else have you lived? What was your favorite place and why?
  • What was your parents' relationship like?
  • What was your relationship like with your parents?
  • Do you feel your parents treated you and your siblings the same or were there favoritism?
  • What kind of student were you?
  • What are some of your favorite childhood memories?
  • What was your favorite subject in school and why?
  • Do any health problems run in your family?
  • What's the kindest thing you've ever done for someone?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: Instagram
  • What's the kindest thing someone's done for you?
  • Are you close with members of your extended family?
  • What are some prominent things that have happened in your past that you think have contributed greatly to who you are today?
  • What are some things in your childhood you'd like to improve upon for your child/children?
  • Tell me about your favorite childhood pet.
  • Did you have a lot of friends as a child, or did you have just a few really good ones?
  • How did you spend your summer vacations?
  • Who was your hero when you were growing up?
  • If you could spend the day with someone famous, alive or dead, who would it be?
  • What is your favorite board game?
  • Describe yourself in a single word.
  • Describe me in a single word.
  • Would you go dress shopping or shoe shopping with me?
  • Another girl hits on you in front of me. How would you handle it? What about if I wasn't there?
  • What is your favorite body part?
  • What song reminds you of me?
  • Do you think we've met before in a previous life?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: Depositphotos
  • Who is your celebrity crush?
  • What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
  • What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten and liked?
  • Can you tell me about your most embarrassing moment?
  • What is your favorite item of clothing?
  • Are you superstitious?
  • If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you choose?
  • If you had a horse, what funny name would you give it?
  • What do you think of public displays of affection?
  • What’s something you’re glad you’ll never have to do again?
  • What’s one thing you always procrastinate on?
  • What would you do with your life if you were suddenly awarded a billion dollars?
  • What should a healthy relationship provide for the people in it?
  • Do you believe everything happens for a reason, or do we just find reasons after things happen?
  • Is there anything you consider absolutely unforgivable?
  • If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first?
  • In your life, what has been the biggest blessing in disguise?
  • If you could pick one year of your life to do-over, which would it be and why?
  • What is one behavior that you never tolerate?
  • If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only three words?
  • What is the one thing that makes you feel alive?
  • What would your perfect day look like?
  • Do you usually follow your head or your heart when making decisions?
  • What is something that never ends well?
  • If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  • Describe your dream house.
  • What's your dream job?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: UGC
  • If you're having a bad day, how can I cheer you up?
  • When you're sick, do you like to have someone taking care of you, or do you prefer to be left alone until you're better?
  • What's your favorite sport?
  • What sport would you never want to watch?
  • If you're lost, do you ask for directions?
  • Describe the ideal vacation.
  • Describe an ideal weekend.
  • What's your favorite dessert?
  • Do you prefer coffee or tea?
  • What would you do if I were suddenly unable to speak your language?
  • What's one household chore you don't know how to do?
  • Do you think men and women can be platonic friends?
  • Do you think it's OK for men and women who are in separate relationships to go have coffee or lunch together?
  • If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?
  • What does friendship mean to you?
  • What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  • Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
  • How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  • How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
  • What is something you do which might cause me to question your loyalty?
  • What are some of your ideas on how to keep a relationship strong over time?
  • What do you think of my dream of becoming a ______? (Fill in your own goal, like a novelist, karaoke star, or TV personality.)
  • Do you think it's OK for people to vent to others about their significant others, or do you think that it's completely disrespectful and complaints should be kept within the relationship?
  • When you break up with someone, how do you do it?
  • How much time do you think we should each spend with our family/friends outside of gatherings that require us both to be there?
  • What do you tell your friends about me when I'm not around?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: Depositphotos
  • If one of your friends flirted with me and I told you about it, how would you handle it?

Ask your partner questions

  • If you could have any superhero power, what would it be?
  • Would you ever be naked in public?
  • If you could have any career, what would you choose?
  • What's the best gift anyone has ever given you?
  • If you had three wishes, what would they be?
  • If you were going to sing karaoke what song would you choose?
  • What is your favorite movie and why?
  • Where is your ideal vacation spot?
  • Who is your favorite person in the world?
  • What makes you feel most alive?
  • What's the kindest thing anyone's ever done for you, and why did it mean so much to you?
  • What's the craziest thing you hope to do one day?
  • What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
  • Are you a dog person or a cat person?
  • Have you ever been in love?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: Getty Images
  • Have you ever had your heart broken?
  • What does a successful relationship look like to you?
  • What happened in your last relationship?
  • Are you friends with your former boyfriends or girlfriends?
  • What has been the best decision you've ever made?
  • What was your first impression of me?
  • What is your biggest fantasy?
  • What is your biggest fear?
  • Do you like your current career or want to change it?
  • How important is it to you to be faithful?
  • Are you satisfied with our sex life?
  • Do you have any debt or money problems?
  • How often do you drink?
  • What are your reasons for wanting to get married?
  • Will you want one parent to stay home with the kids, or do you think daycare (or a nanny) is the way to go?
  • What do you think is the secret to a long, mostly happy (every couple has their moments!) marriage?
  • Is there anything about yourself you would change?
  • What is something you like to do that other person would probably consider "weird" if they knew?
  • What is one thing you've done (or not done) that you regret?
  • If I were to give you a free pass to go on a date with a celebrity, who would it be and why?
  • What was your parents' relationship like?
  • How was your relationship with your siblings?
  • Do you want to have children?

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: Instagram
  • Do you want a big family or a small one?
  • What are your religious or spiritual beliefs?
  • Where do you see yourself living when you're older?
  • What is your love language? How do you express love in a relationship and what makes you feel loved?
  • How do you cope with hard times in life (i.e. grief, job loss, family stress, lack of sleep, periods of overwhelming responsibilities)?
  • Is there anything from your past that could become an issue for us in the future?
  • What is your favorite flavor of jelly bean?
  • What's your favorite Christmas movie?
  • If you could live in any period of history when would it be and why?
  • Tell me 10 things I'd see when I walk in your door?
  • What kind of celebration would there be on a "St. YOU" day?
  • Who would play you in a movie about your life? Who would play me?
  • Give me three words that describe you.
  • What was the best birthday you ever had?
  • If you were a ghost where would you haunt? Why?
  • What kind of car did you wish you had when you were a kid? What about now?
  • What's your favorite 1950s rock song?
  • If you could go back in time and make little changes to your childhood, what is one thing you'd learn and master over the years so you'd be an expert at it today?
  • If you were lost in the woods, how long do you think you'd survive? Why? What special skills would you put to use?
  • If you had to make an iPod playlist named after me, what songs would be on it?
  • What's one job you would never do?
  • How would you describe your sense of humor?
  • What's a random award or recognition you feel you deserve?
  • What is your favorite thing to create?
  • If you could take a week off from your regular life to immerse yourself in learning something new, what would it be?
  • If you were to write a book, what kind would it be?
  • What's something you wish people automatically knew about you? Name something about yourself you wish you could just put on a T-shirt so you could get it out of the way when meeting new people.

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Questions to ask your partner
Source: Instagram
  • What is something you avoid at all costs? Is it a fear, aversion, or is there a special story behind your answer?
  • What is one thing you wish you were better at?
  • When was the time you felt most free?
  • If you could shrink down any animal and carry it around in your pocket, which one would you choose?
  • What's the weirdest nickname someone has for you and what's the story behind it?
  • What's the silliest thing you've ever done in public?
  • If you had to sing everything you wanted to say, what would be the most awkward time to say something?
  • How quickly do you go through an entire box of cereal?
  • Have you ever eaten so much that you had to relax afterward?
  • Do you ever talk to yourself when you're alone? What's the weirdest thing you've said to yourself?
  • Have you ever embarrassed yourself while home alone?
  • If you could only eat either donuts or chips for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
  • If you could take out a bad day on a household item, what would you choose?
  • Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  • Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  • Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
  • What would constitute a perfect day for you?
  • When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  • If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
  • Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  • Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  • For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  • If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  • If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
  • If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  • Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  • What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  • What do you value most in a friendship?
  • What is your most treasured memory?
  • What is your most terrible memory?
  • Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “we are both in this room feeling…”

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There you have it. A list of questions to ask your partner. Share them with your family and friends. You can also ask your partner a question daily and increase the bond between you two.


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