Funny sarcastic quotes: Top 100
8 min read
There’s no denying that laughter is one of the ways of adding more years to your life. What could be better than having a nice laugh and, at the same time, making someone else laugh? With so much going on in life, it is easy to find yourself drowning in so many thoughts that could easily lead to depression. This is why a good laugh is vital so that you can laugh away the worries and cares that come with life. Here is a list of some funny sarcastic quotes that will leave you cracking up your ribs.
Source: UGC
Various ways could lead to laughter, a funny joke from a loved one or colleague, or sometimes, sarcastic quotes from a friend could leave you on the floor. Funny sayings are a great way to lighten up your day and fill you with the energy that you need.
Top funny sarcastic quotes about life
Although sarcasm quotes have a meaner tone to them, they are, in most cases, just what one needs to view life differently. Here is a list of sarcasm examples we have for you.
Source: UGC
- Don’t regret doing things, regret being caught.
- You sound better with your mouth shut.
- You’re unique just like everybody else.
- Please cancel my subscription to your problems.
- It must be hard applying makeup on your two faces each day.
- I rarely tolerate senseless people. But when I do, I’m probably at work.
- I’m not sarcastic. I’m just brainy beyond your understanding.
- You are as useful as a white crayon.
- I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sound.
- I don’t care what people think of me. All I know is that mosquitoes find me attractive.
- Never judge a book by its cover. Never judge a student by their percentage.
- Have no expectations, and you’ll never be frustrated!
- If I had a dollar for every smart thing, you say. I know I would be poor.
- I am so busy right now, can I ignore you some other moment?
- I’m really great at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
- You need a ladder to climb out of my business.
- Girl, you are like a car accident, because I just can’t look away.
- They say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always guessed if you had enough money, you could have any key made.
- I’ve been running as fast as I could, but I still can’t catch my breath.
- Did something awful happen to you, or are you just naturally ugly.
- I’m not sure what’s wrong… But it’s undoubtedly your fault!
- Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
- My attitude in exams. They give me questions I don’t know. I give them responses they don’t know either.
- I may look calm, but inside my mind, I’ve killed you 30 times, in 6 minutes, in 30 different ways.
- Babies are so fortunate. They can sleep all day, and everyone is still proud of them.
Best funny sarcastic quotes
Life would be quite boring if there were nothing to ignite a good laugh. Here are some funny witty quotes for you.
Source: UGC
- Stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go.
- When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic comment.
- I clapped because it’s over, not because I like it.
- Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. Whatever works for you.
- My decision-making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing a street.
- My loyalty cannot be bought. However, it can be hired.
- Never take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
- Never argue with fools, because people from a distance can’t tell which one is you.
- Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.
- We don’t need a CCTV camera here. Neighbors and relatives are enough.
- If the teacher orders you to get out, it means you have won the argument.
- If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
- Are you always this retarded, or are you just making a special effort today?
- I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
- I don’t hate you. It’s just my attitude that has problems with your personality.
- Sarcasm is just one more service we gladly provide.
- Learn from your parents’ mistakes: use birth control.
- My wife sent her photograph to the Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely.
- Living on Earth is quite expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
- Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students at some point!
- I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.
- True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing.
- Zombies eat brains. Don’t worry; you’re safe.
- I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
- Oh… I didn’t tell you. Then it must be none of your business.
Best hilarious quotes
Source: UGC
- Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
- You know you’re remarkable when people you don’t even know hate you.
- That’s a pretty dress. Too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
- Patience. What you have when there are too many witnesses.
- I would like to confirm that I do not care.
- I’m a morning person, but often I choose to sleep straight through it.
- Hey! I had shoes like those once. Then my father finally got a job.
- I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.
- Sure I’ll help you out. The same way you came in.
- My girlfriend is so good at playing hide and seek. I haven’t found her until now.
- You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when mine are closed.
- I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days, I shed two weeks.
- You always do me a favor when you keep up!
- I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.
- When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he forced me to pay in advance.
- It takes two to lie… One to lie and one to listen…
- When people don’t make sense, listen to music. It always does.
- Yesterday, I fell down from a 10-meter ladder. Thank God I was on the third step.
- Just in case you haven’t noticed, you are ugly both mentally and physically. Other than that? You are totally fine!
- I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be honored to make an exception.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. – Steven Wright
- Look at you; you’re in perfect shape. For a circle.
- If you wrote down every single thought you ever had, you would get an award for the shortest story ever.
- I’m smiling. That alone should scare you.
- My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.
Cute yet funny sarcastic quotes and sayings
Source: UGC
- Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
- Tell me how I have upset you because I want to know how to do it again.
- Here, let me drop what is crucial to me and concentrate on all your needs.
- Good judgment comes from experience. And experience? Well, that comes from poor judgment.
- Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
- My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.
- Just because the voices only talk to me, doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
- You inspire my inner serial killer.
- You think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretending to care!
- Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside as well.
- Thank you for leaving me alone when I needed you. I realized I could do so much without you.
- I will try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
- Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and bang them on the ground for total damage.
- No need to repeat yourself; I was ignoring you the first time.
- My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy… so I got drunk.
- You are not as bad as people say, you are far worse.
- You fell asleep! No, I just closed my eyes for a few hours.
- People who write “u” instead of “you.” What do you do with all the time you save?
- I’m not crazy; my reality is just different from yours.
- That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.
- Mirrors can’t talk, but lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.
- If it looks like I give a damn, please let me know. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.
- Behind every successful person, there is a lot of unsuccessful years.
- I’m sorry. What language are you speaking? It sounds like bullshit.
- Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them recognizing it.
Random yet funny sarcastic quotes with pictures
Here is a compilation of some funny sarcastic quotes with pictures for you.
Source: UGC
Here is a nice one; no need to complicate life.
When you have no energy left to pretend.
When tanswer is a no!
READ ALSO: 100 funniest jokes for teens your kids will love
READ ALSO: 100 funny things to say: random laughter quotes
Well, I am sure you have had a good laugh that you were looking for by reading through these funny sarcastic quotes. You can find a good way of being honest with your friends without hurting their feelings by embracing some of these funny yet sarcastic quotes!
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