- Confronting and resolving marital problems is critical to having healthy and happy relationships
- Couples can employ expert advice to improve their communication, understanding, and trust, as well as to settle issues
- Erica Daniel, a US native and trained intimacy coach, spoke with YEN.com.gh about seven ways couples can address difficulties in their relationships
Resolving conflict in a marriage is significant for maintaining a healthy union and ensuring its longevity and for the parties to have a fulfilled love life.
Couples must understand that conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how they handle them can make a significant difference in the marriage.
Hence, they must work together to resolve conflicts, which can ultimately strengthen their love and lead to a more satisfying partnership.
YEN.com.gh spoke to Erica Daniel, a native of Ohio and US-certified intimacy coach based in Accra, Ghana, for the last 10 years, about seven expert tips to help couples navigate and resolve conflicts in their marriage.
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1. Sit in your feelings and reflect first
Daniel advises that partners should recognise their feelings were hurt and evaluate where the hurt is coming from. Did it touch on a hurt from their past? Admitting they were hurt is one of the first steps to resolving conflicts.
2. "You are a good person"
In conflict, it is easy for one to believe they aren't a good person if someone is sharing how they hurt them. It is important to remember that they are a good person even when there is conflict and not to internalise hurtful statements or words spoken from a place of pain.
3. Share vulnerably
When conflict arises, it's easy to point the finger and blame the other person for your pain. Instead, use the phrase "for me" to share openly about the action the person took, how it made you feel and the impact of that feeling.
4. Listen empathetically
When a loved one is hurting, it is easy to say "I'm sorry" or to jump to wanting to "fix" the problem fast. Instead, listen empathetically. This means allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling. Imagine placing yourself in their shoes and letting emotions and feelings wash over you before responding. A healthy, empathetic response may be as simple as "I feel how difficult that must have been for you."
5. Choose connection
Conflict tries to destroy your connection in marriage. When conflict arises, choose to remain in connection with your partner. Do not push them away or avoid the pain. This leads to disconnection, resentment and a sense of rejection.
Though it may seem ideal to push the conflict aside, not talk about it and have "make-up" sex, this can harm your relationship as it may leave the conflict open and unresolved for one or both partners. Yet, the gentlest form of touch helps your partner see that you are right there in the discomfort of the conflict with them and intensifies the foundation of your connection in hardship.
7. Ask for help
Sometimes, the conflict may go deep, and you need a non-biased person to help guide you through how to repair it. Professional help from an intimacy coach can help you understand the impact of the conflict and help guide you to open up with one another safely to truly see and hear one another, all while staying in a loving connection.
Couples must maintain a solid emotional connection, spend quality time together, express gratitude for each other, and cultivate the love that brought them together for healthy and beautiful marriages.
How an Italian lady and her Ghanaian husband looked beyond race to seal their love
In a separate story, YEN.com.gh recalls reporting that when Italy-born Anna-Marie Donkor first met with her Ghanaian lover, Aaron Donkor, in February 2021, she was smitten by his demeanour and footballing prowess.
Before deciding to meet physically and advance their relationship, the duo had been conversing. Their relationship quickly flourished after they met because they knew what they wanted.
Anna-Marie Donkor tells YEN.com.gh in an exclusive interview that a mutual friend introduced her to her now-husband.
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