100 funny things to say: random laughter quotes
Life would be so boring without humor and laughter. Nothing could be as impactful in one’s life as much as humor is. Various funny things to say will often be essential in lighting up the mood as well as highlight the humorous part of it. But how about you get acclimatized to some of the quotes you could use to crack up laughter?
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You should note that you need not be a comedian to spark a conversation. By learning a few funny things to say during a conversation, you could easily light the mood of many people around you. The learning process is hardly filled with any hurdle. In this light, it would be helpful to consider a few of the top things to say. Read with us to find out more!
What are some of the funny things to say?
Often, people will want short stupid quotes about life or love. Whichever between the two, it is valuable to pick a quote that relates well with the audience at hand. This way, the funny saying will be not only relevant to the audience but also highlight critical information that the audience needs to remember.
Random funny things to say to anyone
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A few of the funny things to say include:
- I am trying to see things from your point of view, but sticking my head that far up my @ss is proving problematic
- I rarely spew profanities. I enunciate them like a lady, and clearly so.
- I am sick of following my dreams. I am just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.
- Go to a pet shop and ask for a cow.
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have negligible or no influence in society.
- Look at me. Thank you.
- That was the president on the phone.
- The next thing I am going to say is true. The last I said is false.
- I was born as a baby.
- It is easier to wake me up when I am asleep than when I am pretending to sleep.
- My favorite part of dancing is when I step on my partner’s feet.
- I met a vampire today. Look at the mirror.
- Why call me on the phone when you can just call my name.
- Can I set fire on your fingers? It is my birthday and I have no candles to light.
- If a month lasts for a day, men would be paid their salaries daily and women…never mind!
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- The 31st day of February is May 1st.
- When I bleed, blood comes out.
- I cannot find my remote control. That thing can hardly be controlled.
- Wedding rings are put on the left hand because people expect their partners to leave.
Random yet something funny sayings?
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Often, people will want to have something on top of their head that they can say whenever they are in the middle of a conversation. Such will be the right time for you to embrace a few crazy quotes.
- In a populated elevator, you can say, “You could be wondering why I called this meeting. Well…”
- Go into a bar and ask, “Have you seen my uncle?”
- Walk into a pawn shop and ask how much the shopkeeper can offer for you.
- Whenever you walk into a room, say to the hosts, “P*ss be upon you!”
- I prefer ice cream to screaming.
- I hate eating dead animals.
- A boy is someone who is not a girl.
- Is the sun fatherless, or is the sun someone’s son?
- I need your support, like sagging breasts.
- Here is my son and his dog coming. My son is the one on the left.
- This weekend is the best night ever.
- When you kiss your armpit, I feel tickled.
- I am quite afraid of dark afternoons.
- Go to an ATM, stand in front of it, and demand for your money.
- I have read three whole books in my lifetime. I am yet to finish my third one.
Funny things said by famous people
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Most often, you will witness that people tend to appreciate associating themselves with various famous people. What a better way to build on such association than through embracing some of the “stupid” quotes that they shave said before!
- I used to retail furniture for a living. The problem was, it was mine. –Les Dawson
- I have not spoken to my wife for many years now. I never wanted to interrupt her. –Rodney Dangerfield
- Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You will hardly do it in one push. Often, you will need to rock it back and forth, before you become successful. –Jerry Seinfeld
- I love being married. It is amazing to find that one person you will annoy for the rest of your lifetime. –Rita Rudner
- Ned, I would love to stay here and talk to you. But, I am not going to do that. –Phil Connors
- My mother used to say, “You will always get better as you get older, unless you are a banana.”
- My spouse and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken time to take a second look. –Halley Reed
- I grew up with six brothers. That is how I learned how to dance: waiting for the bathroom. –Bob Hope
READ ALSO: What to say to your crush: 50 tried-and-true variants
Which hilarious joke will make you cry?
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Sometimes, you will want funny things to say to mature minds. Besides, you could be after offering insightful issues without hurting your loved ones. Some of the quotes you will appreciate include the following.
- I would love to help you out. However, which way did you come in?
- Excuse my naivety. I was born at a very tender age.
- Out of my mind. Will be back in a few minutes.
- Whatever is eating you must be suffering horribly.
- I used to have an open mind until I realized how my brains kept falling apart.
- Take my advice, I am not using it!
- It is not that I trust you. I am just feeling lazy today
- When everything is coming your way, you are on the wrong lane.
- Are you laying an egg?
Cute yet funny things to say
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It is often more humorous to say things that are not only cute but also hilarious. How about you try out the following?
- I do not have a library card, but you could be my autocorrect as I become your mistake.
- You look cold. How about you use me as your blanket?
- Can I have directions to your heart?
- Fascinating how I have been deeply looking at your eyes throughout the night. I swear I have never seen such dark eyes with so much light at the same time.
- You are so beautiful that I forgot my pickup lines.
- I was wondering if you have an extra heart. It seems I lost mine.
Funny compliments
Some of the funny laughter quotes one can use to complement someone include:
- I would love to spend time with you, but sometimes I have to get stuff done.
- I think the hardest part of being your friend is pretending that I like my friends as much as I like you.
- It is never easy to be me. That is why I need you.
For as long as you want to make the best of any moment, funny things to say will often come in handy. It is in this light that it would be helpful to consider the aforementioned quotes for your future reference.
READ ALSO: Why do you love me?: 20 best answers
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