100+ funny ways to answer the phone that will leave you in stitches as well
What is the first thought you have once your mobile rings? Like most people, you're likely considering who is contacting you and whether or not to respond. Everyone has a set of standard responses when responding to a phone call. Many individuals are timid or courteous on the phone, mainly when uncertain about the caller. Do you know that funny ways to answer the phone create healthy and enjoyable conversations?
Source: UGC
When responding to a phone call, be imaginative and create fun! When it comes to being funny, there are no hard and fast rules. Let your unique character shine through and keep in mind that the ultimate goal is to bring joy and laughter to the other person. With a little practice, you can become a master at delivering humour over the phone.
List of funny ways to answer the phone
Thinking of new, humorous ways to respond to a call can be challenging because you want to sound unique and clever without sounding corny or absurd. Check out the following amusing phone call answers that will make you laugh!
- I'm sorry, I can't hear you well. There's an ice cream truck driving by my house.
- Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed!
- 911, what's your emergency?
- Hello, this is your conscience. It would be best to rethink what you're about to do.
- Hey, this is pizza hut. You've reached our automated order system.
- Fish market, this is shark speaking.
- Hey there! You've just won a free trip to Bermuda! Press 1 to continue.
- All lines are busy, so please stay on the line; someone will be with you shortly.
- I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
- I'm sorry, I can't hear you! There's a banana in my ear!
- I'm sorry, we have a bad connection. Can you please call back later?
- I'm sorry; they are not here right now.
- I'm sorry, I only speak fluent sarcasm.
- Hey, s*xy, do you have a boyfriend, or do I have a chance?
- Sorry, I can't talk because I'm dead.
- I'm sorry; this number is no longer in service. Please try again later.
- I'm in the middle of a robbery. Can I call you back?
- If you give me your name and number, I'll be sure not to call you back... as soon as possible...
- Hello from space, Alien speaking.
Source: UGC
- After this phone call, you can hang up.
- Congratulations! You have just won a free vacation to Disney world! Please call us back and claim your prize.
- Hello, Spiderman here.
- Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm in the middle of getting a restraining order.
- I'm sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm in the middle of a heated game of rock-paper-scissors.
- I have the mobile money; just let them go.
- This is the answering machine. Please leave a message after the tone. *BEEP*
- I'm sorry; who is this again?
- This is the sheriff's department. We have been tracing this call, and I regret to inform you that we will send a deputy to your location in approximately 10 minutes.
- I thought I was the last survivor.
- Sorry for the inconvenience, but we're currently closed. The number you have dialled has been disconnected.
- Your call is costing you $21.99 a minute. Please hold while we transfer you to our billing department.
- You will die in 3 days. What do you want to do before you die?
- The person you are trying to reach cannot be located, so please leave a message after the tone, and we will get back to you as soon as possible.
- Hello. You are talking with the suic*de hotline. Can you please hold?
- I'm sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm in the middle of a number two.
Funny ways to answer the phone to telemarketers
If you have ever found yourself in the traps of a telemarketer, you understand how inconvenient it can be to have your special meal disrupted by a marketing pitch. But don't worry; there are strategies for dealing with such circumstances that can help you take control.
- Hello, this is the secret service. We have been monitoring your activities, and we have evidence that you are involved in counterfeiting. If you don't cooperate with us, we will arrest you.
- I've been thinking about breaking into phone sales myself. Can you tell me how you got started?
- Hello, and welcome to the department of Defense. Your call is critical to us. Please hold for the next available operator.
- Hello, this is the Food and Drug Administration. We have been investigating you for selling unsafe food for human consumption. If you don't cooperate with us, we will arrest you.
- Oh, I'm so glad you called! I just created a great new app for telemarketers, and I'd love to sign you up now.
- This is the White House. How may we help you?
Source: UGC
- Hello, this is the police. We have been monitoring your phone calls and traced a call to you from a wanted criminal. If you cooperate with us, we will let you go. But if you don't, we will arrest you.
- Nice to hear from you! I'm fundraising on behalf of 'Kanye for President.' Can I count on you for a donation?
- Hello, I'm calling from the Department of Homeland Security. We have reason to believe that you have illegal firearms. If you'd like to avoid being arrested, we recommend you surrender all weapons to us within 24 hours.
- I'm busy now, but I'm free around midnight. Can I have your home phone number so I can call you back?
- Welcome to the Department of Motor Vehicles. How may we help you?
- Hello, this is the Federal Trade Commission. We have been investigating you for pyramid scheme fraud. If you don't cooperate with us, we will arrest you.
- I am sorry, the line seems to have some technical issues- please call back.
- Oh, I thought you were my ride? Can you Uber a car for me?
- Hi, this is Microsoft technical support. We've been getting reports that your computer has been infected with a virus. We recommend formatting your hard drive and reinstalling Windows immediately to avoid further damage.
- I am so glad you called. I just finished memorizing the Gettysburg address. Can I try it out on you?
- Hello, this is the local police station. Your call will be recorded for quality assurance purposes.
- Thank you for calling tech support. If you want to call, please hang up and try again.
- Hello, is this Mr Smith? We've been getting complaints from your neighbours about loud music late at night. If you don't want us to take action, we recommend that you pay us $500.
- This is the wrong number. You've reached the fortune teller's hotline.
Funny ways to answer the phone to an unknown number
You've most likely seen an odd number pop onto your mobile device and had to decide whether or not to respond to it. If you're bold or want to crack up, here are some amusing things to say to random numbers.
- This is the wrong number, but it stays on the line, and I'll connect you to the eligible lottery hotline.
- The money is in the trash can; you know what to do.
- Hello, Johnny. I hope you threw the body! Hurry up before we get caught!
- You've got to stop having an affair with my husband!
Source: UGC
- Dude! I told you to bury the arms and throw the body in the ocean.
- Are you pizza delivery? If not, then I have no interest in talking to you.
- Grandpa! Are you alive?
- I'm your lover's wife, telling you to stop! She was sobbing.
- I'm sorry, who is this? I don't think we have anything to talk about.
- Thank you for helping. May I hold you?
- You are going to be my new phone buddy.
- This is a telepathic recording device. Just think about what you want to tell.
- Hang up, and I'll think about getting back to you.
- Hello. You are talking with the answering machine. May I help you?
- Can I know your name for my record to show my doubting wife to whom I talked with?
- Hell, Satan is speaking.
Clean funny ways to answer the phone
There are numerous ways to be humorous when responding to calls, ranging from clean to ironic. Here are some neat ideas to make your mates or prank callers laugh.
- This is the pet psychic. Who am I speaking to, and what kind of animal do you have?
- Pardon me; I've got nothing to say.
- I'm in the middle of something. Can I call you back?
- Thank you for calling. How can I help you annoy me?
- Hi, this is Amazon Prime customer service. How can I help you?
- Is there a problem with your number, or is it busy now?
- I can't hear you over and over.
- No one gets hurt if you send someone the money!
- Hello? I can't hear you. There's a lot of static on the line.
Source: UGC
- Hello, the individual you're attempting to contact is thinking about you.
- Thank you for calling. I'm sorry, but the number you have reached is no longer in service.
- Hi stranger, I'm just on the other side of the road. Can you see me?
- Sir, I'm sure you've got me mistaken for someone else.
- Hi, can you please remove me from your call list?
- Welcome to voicemail!
- Thank you for calling. Please enter your credit card number followed by the expiration date and then the three-digit security code.
- No way! Why me among all the people in this house?
- Hey, I was in the middle of something important. Do you mind holding on for just a second?
Funny ways to answer spam calls
It is common for a person's phone to get a spam call. These spam calls are typically for services or products you did not request to dupe you into purchasing something. While It can be aggravating when these scams occur, many methods exist to avoid them.
- Do you have a public toilet I can use?
- Sorry, I can't talk now. I have to go wax my cat.
- I am not interested in any of your services.
- Hi! I'm on the National Do Not Call Registry, and you're calling me.
- What are you wearing?
- Hey, great timing. Can you settle an argument between my wife and me?
- Are you still in business? I guess the bomb still has another 30 seconds or so.
- Hello, caller; you're on the air!
Source: UGC
- Please enter your 10-digit phone number followed by the pound sign.
- You're the hundredth caller today. You win a special prize. Hold on for 30 minutes, and I'll get it for you.
- You sound hot. Are you hot?
- Can I have long-distance charged to my prepaid card automatically since it's cheaper than regular long-distance?
- It's been so nice talking with you. Have a great rest of your day!
- Hello, IRS. I'm trying to report a rich scammer.
- The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected for non-payment. Please call back when you have the funds available.
Above are some funny ways to answer the phone that will undoubtfully leave you and the caller in stitches. Humorous ways of answering the phone can initiate a healthy and enjoyable conversation. So, when responding to a phone call, be imaginative and try to create fun in it.
Yen.com.gh published an exciting list of good evening messages, wishes, and quotes for her. The most effective method of remaining in touch with your girlfriend is to communicate with her regularly via texts or phone calls.
Sending adorable messages early and late is one way to keep your relationship going. And writing a love text message for her shouldn't be difficult. The message's content must be regarding her interests, your time with each other, and your love for her.
Source: YEN.com.gh
