They say that when a woman loves, she loves for real. But how do you tell that she is into you or is just passing the time? Do you feel you do more for her than she does for you? Does she consider you a priority, or are you secondary in everything she does? A woman that truly loves you will treat you like her king and continuously attend to you. On the other hand, if she is barely fazed with you, then look for signs she is pretending to love you.
How do you know when a girl is faking love? Someone can pretend to be in love with you, but the good news is that the pretence will not last long. True characters always find a way of revealing themselves.
Signs she is pretending to love you
A girlfriend that is in love will not be insolent or jaded half the time. On the contrary, she will look forward to every moment you spend together and even share her love for you with her friends, family, and on social media.
1. She is barely jovial when around you
What are the signs that she doesn’t love you? Your presence does not excite her. Having someone who is always dull around you is such a buzz kill. It gets worse if it is your girlfriend, as you want to be jolly and happy around each other.
Does she appear unexciting and disinterested when with you? She might not be that into you. What to do? Reciprocate the energy and see where it leads you.
2. She is difficult to read
It must be nerve-racking to be with someone you cannot tell whether they are in high spirits or sad. She is difficult to read, and you do not know what she is thinking. Have you pissed her off? Is she worried about her family? Is she stressed about her career life? Is she just generally bored?
A girlfriend that hardly shows any emotions is bad news. To understand her, keep asking what she thinks about and how she feels.
3. You always do the chasing
Chasing is fun for some men when they are looking for a girlfriend. Once you get your catch, settle and focus on building the relationship. A girlfriend that always wants to be chased is not pleasurable to be with. She barely initiates conversations with you, does not call you and does not look for time to spend with you.
It is not a good look if one party keeps chasing even after the relationship is established. Talk to your girlfriend about this and tell her that a relationship requires effort from both parties.
4. She is super critical when it comes to you
She will always not appreciate you as there is nothing you do that pleases her. For example, you would choose to make her a meal, but she will criticize your preparation.
You will select a movie, but she will complain that your taste in film is bland. She is on no account grateful and constantly condemns. Communicate your displeasure in how she is overly critical, and she may bring that habit to an end.
5. She brings up her ex-way more times than she should
One of the biggest signs she is pretending to love you is the constant mention of the ex. No one wants to hear about their girlfriend’s ex. So why are you bringing up your ex in a new relationship? The past should be left in the past.
A partner who always finds a way of fixing their ex in conversations is probably still hung up on that relationship or is inconsiderate of your feelings. She may even go ahead to compare you to the ex. There is no sugar coating with this one; tell her never to bring up her ex.
6. She turns you down half the time
You want to go out with her, but she appears busy. You will make reservations in a restaurant, but she will blow you off. She always makes excuses whenever you want to hand them out, so you end up postponing or cancelling the entire thing.
A girlfriend that keeps turning you down does not regard you as a priority. For your sanity, stop making plans that involve her. Instead, go out, have fun, and enjoy your time without thinking about her.
7. She is not comfortable walking with you outside
When in love, you want the whole world to know the person that makes you happy. You will gleefully go for errands together, go out for movies, and meet friends and family as a couple. However, not everything is right if your girlfriend appears uncomfortable when you are out with her.
She may be hiding something or not consider you good enough to be seen with her in public. She enjoys being with you but does not want other people to know you are together. A situation like this requires you both have a sit-down, talk about it and see the way forward.
8. She is mean with her compliments
Compliments are heartwarming. A simple, flattering remark can change your mood. A girlfriend who rarely compliments you is not the best energy you want.
She rarely tells you how good you look or how handsome your shirt makes you, and when she does, she gives backhanded compliments. This may not be a big deal to some, but be wary of people who enjoy receiving praise from their partners but seldom do the same.
9. She is too secretive
Your partner need not know everything, but hiding everything is bound to raise eyebrows. A girlfriend who does not mention where she hangs out, or her friends, barely talks about her background or past but constantly asks about your life should be a concern.
She always leaves the room when receiving a phone call. She does not want to talk about her family. You have no idea which high school or college she went to, and she is vague about everything when you ask; run if you can. Too much mystery is a concern.
10. She demands that you pay for everything
A man taking care of everything is a turn-on for most women. A hands-on man who clears the bill and even spoils you a little is the dream man for most women. A man being capable of taking care of everything should not, however, translate to the woman never chipping in.
A loving girlfriend should pay for the cab ride once in a while or even order take-out when the man is low financially. If your girlfriend cannot help you with anything in the house, it is time to re-evaluate the relationship.
11. She never says, I love you first
One of the signs she loves you deeply is how often she tells you that she loves you. If she is the kind that will respond with 'I Love You Too' but will rarely say 'I Love You First', something could be a miss.
Not a big deal. But why does she wait for you to say it first? Is she just saying that to be polite? Does she love you? Are you invested in the relationship more than she is? Is she with you just for convenience? Ask her why she never says, 'I Love You first.' She probably loves you but does not think she should be the one saying it first.
12. She subtly shuts you down when you bring talks about the future
Most people get into relationships hoping they will last forever. However, your relationship is wrong if you are the only one with future ambitions.
How does your girlfriend respond when you talk about years to come? Does she seem excited? Does she change the subject? If she does, she probably does not love you that much and hence sees no future with you.
13. She does not enjoy time together with you
She will never say she misses you or ask you to make time to hang out. A girlfriend that is too busy for you but open to other activities is not someone you want in your life.
She has to be interested in you and how you are involved in her. Ask her why she never asks you to spend some time with her. Ask her face to face to see her reaction to your question. Her response will answer everything.
14. She threatens to break up with you after every little misunderstanding
If she threatens to break up every time you have a minor argument. She does not value the relationship and is looking for a way out. The best you can do is release her. Let her go where she wants to go.
Every couple has arguments and minor fights. These arguments are resolved by addressing the issue and moving forward. A girlfriend constantly hitting you with the ‘I will break up with you’ line is not worth your time.
15. She never introduces you to her friends
You are a well-kept secret when it comes to her friends and family. Why is she hiding you like it is illegal to be with you? Does she not find you attractive enough for her girl group? Does she secretly hate you but does not know how to tell you?
If you have never met any of her friends, yet she has met yours, then you need to rethink the relationship dynamics. You should ask her why she hides you. Get your answer and decide on what to do next.
16. She acts single on social media
How do you know if she loves someone else? She gives special treatment to other people. She is a walking red flag if she acts single on social media. Why is she flirting with everyone on her page? Does she not respect you, or does she feel that she has multiple options?
Express your annoyance when you see her do this. If she fails to reason with you, then breaking up is the only way to be at peace. Any person that openly flirts with everyone is not in love with you; they are just toying with your feelings.
17. She only calls you when she needs something
You are excited to receive her call, but as usual, she is calling to ask for something. She is short of cash and needs her kitchen sink fixed; she wants you to escort her to someplace. How do you tell if a girl is just keeping you around? She never calls to say she misses you and wants to have drinks together.
You are not a romantic partner to her; instead, you are a handyman who sometimes acts as her boyfriend. Like in many situations, talk to her about this and see if she can change. She is probably ignorant about your feelings and the relationship. Every so often, a little talk can fix edgy situations.
18. She is never eager to invite you to her place
How many times have you been to her place? Is she afraid of having you over? Are there other people that visit her that she would rather you not bump into?
This may not be a major issue, but having a girlfriend that hardly ever invites you to her place unless you ask should be a concern. You may bring it up in casual conversations and see the reasons she lists. It is among the signs she loves you but is scared.
19. She is only happy when you operate on her terms
She is only thrilled when you go for a date at the time she pleases, decides what to buy, the places you hang out, the movies you should watch and how she likes her stuff done.
You have no say in this relationship. You have to play along. Otherwise, you will upset her and ruin her mood. Being treated like a child is not the way to go. Instead, voice your concerns like the adult you are and meet at a middle ground.
20. Zero to none PDA
A little public display of affection will not hurt. Does she resist when you hold her hand as you cross the road? Does she not appreciate when you hug her when out in public? Is she irritated when you sit too close to her?
These signs may point to a girlfriend who is pretending to love you. A loving girlfriend will sometimes be elated by PDA and even initiate it. Talk to your girlfriend about her indifference in PDA and see her perspective.
If your girlfriend seems nonchalant, impassive and bored when you are together, these are some signs she is pretending to love you. The best approach is communication. Discuss every issue that seems to arise and find an understanding. If all fails, then you are free to take a different direction.
Yen.com.gh shared an article about the most interesting things to discuss with your crush to spark a meaningful conversation. A good conversation is one of the best ways to ensure that you are not easily forgotten. Once they notice how smooth you are with your words, all you have left to do is charm them with your personality.
What you talk about with your crush will depend on their mood and how well you know each other. The trick to killing it is making sure that you have some conversation starters to have more interesting and funny conversations with them.