80+ hilarious grandma jokes and puns that will make your day

80+ hilarious grandma jokes and puns that will make your day

The role of a grandma in a family is second to none as they give special care to their grandchildren and the entire family. They are fun to be with and sometimes tell rib-cracking jokes that can brighten anyone's mood. Here are some hilarious grandma jokes that will make you giggle.

funny grandma jokes
Photo: unsplash.com, @thesollers (modified by author)
Source: UGC

You can spice up the time spent with your grandma with grandma jokes. They are unique and are the most wonderful people who discipline their children and spoil their grandchildren. More so, grandmas show special care and share their stories and life experiences with their grandchildren while offering the best advice.

Funny grandma jokes

There are several savage and funny replies that grandmothers make from time to time. These jokes about them will certainly make your day. Below is a compilation of a few.

  • Why was grandmother not able to go to the library? Because it was all booked.
  • Shout out to my grandma… That's the only way she can hear.
  • What did grandmother say every time she heard an insect joke? She said, "Oh stop, these jokes bug me."
  • Why was grandma in such a hurry while making pasta sauce for the dinner guests? It was already 8 pm, and she was running out of thyme.
  • What happens when you forget to take off your lenses before a good night's sleep with your grandmother? Your dreams are apparent.
  • Grandmother, you are 105 years old; what's the secret to such a long life? "I don't have enough money for burial services."
  • Why did grandmother stop going to the gym? It was not working out.
  • Is there a reason why grandmas smile always? Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
  • Can you tell me what happened at the costume party? We dressed up as cashews, and grandma thought we were nuts.
  • What changed grandma's opinion about heart transplants? She had a change of heart.
  • Is there a reason grandmother was so fascinated by the reversible sweater she was knitting? She said, "I want to see how it turns out."
  • What happened when grandma decided to take action against the airline for losing her luggage? She lost her case.
  • Hey grandson, what's the name of that German man who makes me go crazy? Alzheimer, grandma, Alzheimer.
  • Is there a similarity between a grandmother and a website? You can't deny the cookies.

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grandma jokes
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Source: UGC
  • Why did grandmother stay up all night? She wanted to see where the sun went. The next day, it dawned on her.
  • What happens when you decide not to eat grandma's dinner but get packed food? The next day, grandma gets angry because her whole plan got foiled.
  • A girl is singing her favourite songs. Her grandma comes into the room and says, "Oh, that was you; I thought it was the radio."
Girl: And you came to listen granny!?
Grandma: Naw, I wanted to turn off the radio.
  • In an interview, a grandmother was asked what she thought was the best thing about being 103, and her response was, "No peer pressure."
  • Grandma was making lasagna when suddenly, an entire US division came crashing through her door. She put a little too much oil in the lasagna.
  • One day I sang a song about the tortilla guy to my grandmother, which was more of a rap.
  • My grandmother offered me a melon for my evening snack, and I was feeling melon-cholic.
  • I asked my grandmother why we tell actors to "break a leg?" She said that every play has a cast.
  • What happened when grandmother visited the dentist? She came home and said, "I didn't like him at first, but I wasn't mean to him because I know he has fillings."
  • My great-grandma couldn't stop giggling at our large family barbecue. I asked her what she found so funny. "Everyone here is alive because I got laid," she said.
  • My grandmother told me her joints were getting weaker. So I told her to roll them tighter.
  • I just heard that my grandmother has finally stopped smoking. We can collect her ashes tomorrow.
  • My grandmother changed her hair colour while taking a nap; she dyed it peacefully in her sleep.
  • My grandmother told me all her friends had AIDS. I told her I was sorry for them, and she asked me to speak up. She, too, had AIDS; hearing aids.
  • I suggested that my grandmother throw a space-themed party. She's asked me to plan-et.
  • My grandma just asked me, "Son, what's your retirement plan?" I said, "It's you."
  • An old woman is lying on her deathbed when her youngest granddaughter, holding back tears, says, "I love you, grandmother." The old woman replies, "Oh yeah? Name three of my albums."

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Cute grandma jokes

Grandmas are unique for other reasons too. For instance, their inability to adjust to modern technologies and sophistication is legendary, and their clap back can hurt your rib with laughter. Still in doubt? Check out these jokes that will make your day.

  • Grandma used to run a dating service for chickens but struggled to make hens meet.
  • Heard about the dinosaur-themed tea party at grandma's place? She asked me to get tea-rex.
cute grandma jokes
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Source: UGC
  • I accidentally dropped a soda can on my grandmother's head. Thank God it was a soft drink.
  • What did grandmother do when she was feeling lonely? She bought some shares because she wanted company.
  • Have you heard about the grandmother who recently went through brain surgery? She was reluctant at first but later changed her mind.
  • What happened when the clown sang a birthday song for grandmother? She appreciated the sweet jester.
  • How come grandmothers are so good at learning different languages so quickly? They are always grandma-tically correct.
  • One fine day, I asked my grandmother about a mechanic. She gave me his number and said he is highly wreck'a'mended.
  • What happened after my grandmother decided to become vegan? Every time I meet her, it feels like I never met her'bivore.
  • Why did grandmother stay up all night? She wanted to see where the sun went. The next day, it dawned on her.
  • Why did the grandmother ask her grandson not to work at the candle factory? Because he will have to work even on wick-ends.
  • How was grandmother's 92nd birthday party? It was an emotional moment for us, even though the cake was in tiers.
  • Why was the grandmother not happy when her grandson took the job of archaeologist? Because his career lay in ruins.
  • My brother was feeling shy while singing karaoke in front of the whole family. Grandma said, "Don't be shy; just duet."
  • Why did the grandmother throw the watch out of the window? She wanted to see time fly.
  • What did grandmother say about her career as a young girl? I worked at the shoe showroom, and then they gave me the boot.
  • What kind of shoes does a grandmother like? Grandma prefers slip-on overshoes because why knot?
  • What did grandma say about her son on her birthday? He worked as a banker, but soon enough, he lost interest.
  • How did grandma agree to get spine surgery? She told me, "It was holding me back for a really long time.
  • Why do grandmothers hate stairs? They suspect them as they are always up to something.
  • What happened at the costume party? We dressed up as cashews, and grandmother thought we were nuts.
  • My grandmother still can't believe my brother got fired from the calendar manufacturing unit, and all he did was take a day off.

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funny grandma jokes
Photo: unsplash.com, @labunsky (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • What happened when grandmother decided to take action against the airline for losing her luggage? She lost her case.
  • Why did grandma refuse to eat the German sausage? She fears the wurst.
  • What did I say to my grandmother when she asked me to help her with an ark? I told her I Noah guy.
  • Did your grandmother give you her bread recipe? Yes, we often trade recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  • What is the similarity between a grandmother's dentures and stars? Both come out at night.
  • Why do seagulls only fly over the sea, grandmother? If they fly over bays, they will be called bay-gal.

Grandma and grandpa jokes

Having your grandparents around is one of the best feelings in a family. They are known to make funny comments about each other that will make you laugh. Here are some of the "what did grandma say to grandpa" jokes and other grandparents' jokes.

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  • What did grandmother say about grandpa's stair construction work? She said, "He had to work really hard. It was an up-and-down business."
  • I asked my grandpa, "After 65 years, you still call grandmother darling, beautiful, and honey. What's the secret?" Grandpa said, "I forgot her name five years ago, and I'm scared to ask her.
  • Why couldn't grandpa find freedom when he left to travel abroad? Because he said that grandmother followed him and arrived on the next boat!
  • Why do you think grandpa says that his wife makes cookies the fastest? Because she takes nana-seconds to bake them.
  • Grandma finally convinced my grandpa to stop biting his nails after 40 years. She's hidden his teeth.
grandma and grandpa jokes
Photo: unsplash.com, @sxoxm (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • How does grandpa refer to grandma when she feels all crabby? Hey there, old bae!
  • Why is grandpa always smiling at grandmother? Because he cannot hear anything she says and doesn't want to upset her.
  • Why did grandpa like an 'All-you-can-eat' restaurant more than grandma's cooking? Because he could decide when he was full at the restaurant.
  • On her death bed, the last words that my grandmother told my grandpa were, "Honey, I'll see you in heaven!" Since then, he's been kicking puppies and robbing stores every day.

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Grandma jokes one-liners

Are you searching for hilarious puns and one-liners grandma jokes to spice up family gatherings and put a smile on grandma's face? Then check these out.

  • Got a call that my grandma only had one day left to live, but I am still not paying the ransom.
  • My dad went with my grandmother to the doctor's office, and we found out she was diagnosed with dementia a year, but she forgot to tell us.
  • My sister has put our grandma on speed dial. Now we can call her Insta- gran.
  • Grandma got some wheels for her rocking chair. She wanted to rock and roll.
  • Why was grandmother arrested for taking a picture? She was framed.
  • My grandma is 80% Irish. People call her Iris.
grandma jokes
Photo: unsplash.com, @1m55sm (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • I keep telling my grandmother that she needs hearing aids. But she just won't listen.
  • Grandmas put wheels on their rocking chairs so that they can rock and roll.
  • My grandmother is kind of like the Chinese government. Visitors only see nice china.
  • Why did grandmother leave the job at the glue factory? She could not stick with it.
  • What did grandma say about the rooftop party? It was not the best, but it is up there.

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Grandparents are known for their funny and exciting stories, advice, prayers, and show of love. Therefore, you can use these grandma jokes to cheer up your grandmother whenever she comes around or at a family gathering.

How you start your day matters; it even has a way of determining how you spend the rest of the day. As published on Yen.com.gh, when you are rightly motivated, you can go about your daily activities efficiently and achieve better results.

So, how do you start right and ensure a happy and productive day? You can read inspiring, have a good day quotes, which impact your personal life and workflow. Check out the post for some of the best inspirational quotes to start your day right.

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Favour Adeaga (SEO author) Favour is an author, speaker, and coach. He graduated with a degree in Mass Communication from The Polytechnic, Ibadan, Nigeria, in 2011. He had his internship programme at The Nation Newspaper and taught diploma students in Newspaper and Magazine course at the Nasarawa State University, Keffi. He curates the facts and life hacks category since 2018. Favour is the author of two books available on Amazon. He currently lives in Nigeria. favouradeaga@gmail.com

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