50 inoffensive priest jokes that will brighten up your day
Religion makes people rigid as they perform their practices and beliefs. However, leaders in these institutions try to break these norms as they address their congregants. Priest jokes become therapy to their people as long as they don't offend them.
Source: UGC
Priest jokes are a good way to capture the attention of your followers. The jokes make people laugh and temporarily forget their problems. In addition, priests may use jokes to pass on an important lesson. The members easily understand and keep the lesson as they relate it to the joke.
Inoffensive priest jokes
A priest can make inoffensive jokes while teaching serious topics such as religion and life skills. He will make funny jokes while teaching or preaching without disrespecting anyone.
A priest and rabbi jokes
A sanctuary with a friendly and cheerful leader is always lively. Members look forward to the services. However, when it comes to priestly words, many people don't forget them. Here is a collection of jokes for a priest, a rabbi, and a minister.
- A priest says, after Sunday offertory, I always divide the money into two. I draw a line on the floor and throw all the money in the air. Whatever lands on the other side of the line belong to the church, and I keep whatever lands on my side.
- To divide the Sunday offerings, the minister says I draw a circle and throw the money in the air. What lands in the circle belong to the church, and what lands outside it belongs to me.
- The rabbi says, "I am very transparent. I always take the offering and throw it in the air. God takes whatever he wants and whatever he does not want falls back down on me."
- What do we call a priest that becomes a lawyer? Father-in-law.
- Why are catholic priests called fathers? It is too suspicious to call them dad.
- What do we call a pastry that is a priest or a rabbi? A holy doughnut.
- Do you think a doughnut would ever become a priest? Yes, because it is very hole-y.
- After getting a heart attack, a priest is rushed to the hospital. As he is being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses, he wakes up and asks, am I in heaven? One of the nurses replied, "we are taking a shortcut through the children's ward."
Source: UGC
- What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priests when they entered the orphanage? Shall we prey?
- Have you heard about the new exorcist movie? The devil came to get the priest out of the child.
- Do a priest and a wristwatch have anything in common? Yes, they both start at 12.
- A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asked the rabbit, “What is your blood type?” “Maybe I am a type O,” said the rabbit. Oh, the rabbit was a typo.
- What does a priest put on a salad? Lettuce spray.
- Which Disney movie does the church mainly make little girls watch? Seven Deadly Sins and the Snow White?
- Does Jesus eat M&Ms? No, because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
- A priest asked, do the nuns wear bras? No. God supports everything.
- What do we call a Mexican fighting a priest? Definitely, it is an alien vs predator.
- What happened to the guy who had to be exorcised? Well, he could not pay the priest, so he got repossessed.
- A girl goes to the priest for confession and tells the priest, "Rabbi, I think that I am pregnant." The Priest sadly asks, "How did it happen, my child?" the girl replies, "Sir, it must be the second coming." Shocked, the priest asks, "What makes you think so?" She replied, "Because I swallowed the first. "
- What type of meat does a priest eat on Fridays? A nun.
- In the confessional booth, I asked the priest if he thought it might be a good idea to stop masturbating. He replied, sure, if it bothers you, I'll stop.
- My minister is homophobic. He is that man who spends nights on his knees, begging another man to come for a second time.
- Why are priests from Finland so good at Mortal Kombat? Because they are well-versed in Finnish hymns.
- What's the similarity between a Catholic priest and acne? They both wait until one is 12.
- Which is the best place to get an ice cream cone? In a Sunday school with a priest.
Source: UGC
Funny Irish priest jokes
Are you looking for the funniest Irish priest jokes? Here are a few of them that are all times hilarious.
- A man goes to a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that an Irish priest put on me years ago?" Probably," says the wizard, "Can you remember the words of the curse?" The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife." Forgive me, father, priest, vicar, padre, minister, for I have synonymized.
- An Irish priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood. The nurse asks, what's your blood type? The rabbit replies, "I am probably a Type O."
- My pot-smoking college roommate chooses theology as his major. He's now an Irish priest.
- One day, an Irish priest is out for a walk when he comes across a group of children playing. One child asks, "Father, can we play hide and seek?" The priest replies, "Of course, you can, but I'll have to be the one to find you."
- What is reverse exorcism? It is when the demon banishes the Irish priest out of the non-minor victim.
- An Irish priest driving to New York got stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the Priest's breath before seeing an empty wine bottle in the car and says, "Priest, have you been drinking?" "Just water," replied the priest. The trooper said, "Why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and yells, "Jesus Christ! He did it again!"
- Why are Irish priests called fathers? Because calling them daddy sounds suspicious.
- An Irish priest opened the morning newspaper and was shocked to read in the obituary column his death announcement. He quickly called another priest and asked, "Did you see the paper? They say I died!" "Yes, I saw it!" replied his friend. "Are you already in heaven?"
A priest walks into a bar jokes
Do priests also go to bars? People like making jokes related to them in the bar, such as the following.
- A priest walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get for you, Father?" The priest replies, "I'll have a glass of your finest sacramental wine, please."
Source: UGC
- A priest walks into a bar, looks at the ugly walls, and says to the bartender, "My son, you must repaint."
- A priest walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get for you, Father?" The priest says, "Just a glass of iced tea, please. I'm trying to keep the faith."
- A priest walks into a bar but does not realize his cell is too small.
- A priest walks into a bar and thinks, "has it been set that low?" as he falls.
- A rabbit, a minister, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, "what’s all you have?" The rabbit replied. "I dunno. I am here because of autocorrect."
- A priest, an atheist, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, ‘Guys, I am pretty sure I am a typo.’
- A priest, a rabbi, and a chicken walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Nope! We don't make jokes here; get out! the chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street."
- A priest walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Hey, sir, drinking alone tonight?"
- A priest, a nun, and some random dude walk into a bar and ask for a few coronas, hurricanes, and fireballs. The bartender says, ‘unless it is 2020.’
- A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender sees them and shouts, "What is this joke?"
Religion is not always serious. Inoffensive priest jokes and funny Christian jokes lighten up people in the church. The jokes are therapeutic to many who laugh and remain glued to the priest's teachings.
Yen.com.gh shared an article about the best happy birthday dad in heaven quotes. One of the worst and most traumatic experiences is losing a loved one, mostly a father. However, you can honour him with a birthday message every year.
A birthday is a reminder of the day you came to this earth. It is a time to celebrate the past year while anticipating the new one. If your father is in heaven, you can share the quotes in your timeline.
Source: YEN.com.gh
