“I’m A Divorced Ghanaian Dad Of 3, I Need Help To Cope With The Trauma”: Relationship Expert Advises

• A Ghanaian father of three based in Canada has blamed himself for the collapse of his marriage with his ex-wife
• In a heartbreaking message to YEN.com.gh, he disclosed that he is dealing with despair because of his failed marriage
• Erica Daniel, an African-American professional intimacy coach, has shared how he can deal with the stress

My ex-wife and I married in late December 2020. Our love life, the events leading to the marriage, and the wedding ceremony convinced me she was the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. But fate had different ideas for us. Our once beautiful marriage began to deteriorate after the arrival of our second son, coupled with the arrival of the mother of my first child from the US.

My estranged wife saw my first daughter’s mother kissing me when she came to visit us in Canada. My daughter’s mother initiated the kiss, forcefully holding me close to her on purpose. My then-wife and I were already going through a phase, and this incident didn’t help.

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But what broke our marriage was her parents’ insistence that we relocate from Canada to the UK because they wanted to keep an eye on her. She had complained to them about some of our fierce exchanges. She moved to the UK against my advice that we were better off living far from her parents. I feel guilty because I know I’m partly to be blamed for the breakdown of our marriage. The heartbreak is deep and depressing.

Erica Daniel is a US-certified intimacy coach with experience spanning over a decade in the US and Africa, including Ghana. She explains how the man can deal with the difficulties of divorce. Erica Daniel has advised many Ghanaian couples, including former Black Stars captain Asamoah Gyan.

First, acknowledge and be honest about your emotions, recognising that many others have felt the same way. In conflict, it is easy to believe you’re a good person if someone shares how they hurt you [and vice versa]. It is important to remember that you are a good person. Do not internalise hurtful statements or words spoken from a place of pain.

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Also, know that you can loosen your grasp on these feelings [of despair]. By actively seeking professional help, you can go from being controlled by your emotions to regulating them. This empowerment can help you deal with disappointment and other difficulties with a fresh sense of control.

Disclaimer: The advice in this article is general and is not intended to influence readers’ decisions about marriage or dealing with the trauma of divorce. They should always seek professional advice that considers their circumstances before deciding.

Do you have a story or need expert advice? Contact us at ask.an.expert@yen.com.gh, with Ask an Expert in the subject line.

7 expert tips to help couples navigate and resolve conflicts in their marriage

In a previous story, YEN.com.gh reported that resolving conflict in a marriage is significant for maintaining a healthy union, ensuring its longevity, and for the parties to have a fulfilled love life.

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Couples must understand that conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how they handle them can make a significant difference in the marriage.

Source: YEN.com.gh